2003-01-21

Love's Baby Soft

I have this aerosol can of Love's Baby Soft in my bathroom. I've had it for well over a year now, having bought it for Lexi's 80's party the Halloween before last, when drinking was still fun, kind of. Since then, it's scarcely been used, save for two weeks ago when the band played Paula's 80's night. I stuck it in the inside pocket of my denim jacket, then burst into the backstage area where Ad and Declan were having eyeliner applied to their already decidedly ladymannish peepers.

"Okay! Who's ready for a blast of the sweet, sweet smell of adolescent sexual frustration?"

Declan looked up, piqued. "Oh, yes; give us a spray of that, wouldja luv?"

I complied, aiming and spraying at his chest.

"AUGH! Jaysus! It smells like the inside of a tampon box!"

I have to admit, Declan is right. It's the talcum-metallic smell of "feminine hygiene." Matter of fact, I'd go a step further and say that it smells like a diaper.

Personally, I never used the stuff during my formative years. I had no interest in smelling either innocent or sexy.

And the smell still kind of scares me, evoking images of mean girls who prank-called me on weekends and threatened to beat me up if I didn't let them copy off my homework.

lisamcc at 7:30 p.m.

previous | next