2003-01-27

File Under: WRONG ANSWER

I had this terrible dream last night. Generally, I don't talk too much about my dreams, just because I get really bored hearing about other people's dreams, and as a matter of course I'm not really into analyzing them, either.

I was at my grandmother's house in Helena, MT. Visiting, I suppose. The thing was, the houseboy had this girlfriend, and he'd brought her over to my grandmother's to meet MY family, and was really upset at me because I didn't want to meet her. I mean, he just really couldn't understand why I was being so rude to her. At the same time, I had to keep making these friendship bracelets for her, and Kev kept bringing them back, saying, "She doesn't like this pattern."

Then it was time to leave, and I couldn't fit everything into my bags. So I burst into tears.

I woke up flattened out towards the end of the bed, and in a really bad mood, baffled not only by the presence of another woman, but also at having to make friendship bracelets, which summoned really bad memories of the suburban neo-Deadhead chicks in high school who'd sit there weaving away at them during lunch, while their male counterparts played Hacky-sack.

But here's the kicker: Kev was getting up, so I whimpered, "I just had a really bad dream."

"Yeah?"

"I dreamed that you were seeing someone else, and you were really mad at me because I didn't want to meet her."

"Pffft. I don't have time to see anyone else." Then he went into the bathroom.

Okay. File Under: WRONG ANSWER. Wrong, wrong, WRONG answer.

Chickens, if your Significant Other� awakes and tells you about a dream like that, these are the acceptable reactions:

• Immediately spoon up and croon, "You're the only girl for me, kitten." Follow up with rapid succession of smooches.
• Actually, that's really the only acceptable reaction.

CAVEAT: This is not to say that the houseboy is an insensitive poltroon. Quite the opposite: he fixes me snacks, tells me I have a cute butt, and removes the waterlogged issues of Cosmo from the bathroom without hardly grumbling at all. I could scarcely ask for a nicer houseboy; I imagine it must be extraordinarily taxing to be married to me.

lisamcc at 11:10 a.m.

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