2000-10-11

Cold Weather Crisis

It's autumn. Yessir.

The languid days of summer tend to make me very, very complacent and not-especially-excitable. I don't go outside without seven layers of SPF 50+ on my pasty white self. I don't deal well with heat.

I thrive in a cooler climate; in fact, I'm downright hyper come October.

I jerk awake at precisely the same time each morning - no alarm clock for me - regardless of what I'd been imbibing the night before.

I sit at my desk and just wait for an excuse to hurtle out of my broom closet/office in full-on Crisis Mode: "Patrick - you gotta stop borrowing my dictionary without bringing it back!!!"

I love my dictionary. If I can't whirl around in my swell pink swiveling desk chair and see it winking back at me from my bookshelf, I freak.

I'm usually done with the major number-crunching portion of my day by 2. That's when I start barraging Paula and Bo with emails ranging from the benign ("Hi.") to the absurd ("Lookit what happens when you put my ex-boyfriend's webpage into the T-inator! Innit cooo-wulll?!")

So I have all this energy. I figure I easily burn between 200-300 calories a day just fidgeting at my desk. The mercury drops and I'm rarin' to go - full-tilt-boogie - taking the stairs three at a time.

Some of you may be reading this and thinking, "That's great! She must get so much done!" The fact of the matter is that all this energy gets channeled into all the wrong things. I'll set aside time to shampoo and vacuum the carpets, say, and get so distracted by one misplaced book ("What's Ionesco doing on the same shelf as O'Neill?! God damn it!") that I'll abandon the carpets and completely re-organize the bookshelves. So now all the absurdist playwrights are together, but the carpets continue to harbor enough cat hair to make another cat. I'll go into the bathroom with the intention of getting those toothpaste wobs off the mirror, and then spend the next fifteen minutes tweezing my eyebrows.

I am a ruthless whippet, able to completely immerse myself in the task at hand, but it's never a particularly productive task.

lisamcc at 21:02:57

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