2000-07-06

Belly Flops

It's a bit of a frazzle day at work. We're in pre-audit mode, which means tons of running around getting proof that we make as much money as we do around here. And lucky me -- as Keeper of many proverbial Books -- I got, in the words of the great Desi Arnaz, "some �splainin' to do." Which is all well and good, and generally I keep me some damn organized rekkids, but it's still a pain in the ass and it still requires much more of my brain than I'm really accustomed to using on a regular basis and therefore, at some point during the Pre-Audit Scramble�, something short-circuits and I'm caught in a classic Lisa Moment�, which straddles the line between "compromising position" and "situation comedy."

So. I'm in the fax room this morning, faxing. I noticed that one of the IRS dudes was staring at something on the counter. "Hey IRS Dude�, " I said, "Whatcha lookin' at there on the counter?" Being an IRS dude, he was stoic, reticent, and simply gestured to what looked like a bag of jelly beans. "Ooooo, jelly beans," I cooed, and tottered over for a better look-see.

I screamed.

I screamed, because these were no ordinary jelly beans. They were Belly Flops.�

"Belly Flops," I was to learn, are the stunted, malformed spawn of the great Jelly Belly� empire. To put it crassly, they're freaks. Conjoined, discolored, pellet-sized...any number of mutations. But they're just as tasty as their perfectly-shaped brethren, so I immediately began to search for my favorite flavor: buttered popcorn.

Turns out that this was also the favorite flavor of the heretofore stoic IRS dude, who joined me as I dug around for a tasty, if malformed, buttered popcorn Belly Flop. There we were, wrist deep in the bag of Belly Flops, elbows touching, grunting softly, when one of the interns walked in. "OhmiGOD! What are you doooooing?!!!" she squeaked.

"Looking for a buttered popcorn Belly Flop," murmured the IRS dude.

lisamcc at 16:50:06

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