2000-04-27

Behind the Cheez-Its

Once upon a time, I am told, there was a snack bar at the Sound Museum, located in Boston's fabulous South End, where my band currently practices. For whatever reason, this service has been discontinued, and the hungry musicians who inhabit the Sound Museum's practice rooms must now make do with one solitary snack machine, which does, to the Sound Museum's credit, offer a wide array of tasty items, including White Cheddar Cheez-Its.

I dearly loves me some White Cheddar Cheez-Its, despite the residue they leave on my fingers. I am always happy to see that the benevolent Powers That Be� at the Sound Museum care enough about us grimy rock-n-rollers to keep the snack machine stocked with such a treat.

However, the latest batch of Cheez-Its are proving to be a most tenacious lot, refusing to be bought and consumed, no matter how bright and shiny the quarters I deposit into the gaping maw of the Sound Museum snack machine.

This has been going on for weeks. You would think, then, that I would have learned my lesson, and either A) stopped trying altogether to buy a bag, or B) timidly knocked upon the door of the Sound Museum's main office and voiced my displeasure. As I am famously passive-aggressive, the latter is simply not an option for me; I would rather someone else brought the snack machine's inability to whelp White Cheddar Cheez-Its to the attention of them what does the stocking.

Apparently, nobody else likes White Cheddar Cheez-Its, or else they just don't care. It's quite a quandary, this.

Last night, I decided to try once again to purchase these most evasive snack crackers. No dice. I ended up settling for a most unsatisfactory bag of honey-mustard flavored pretzels, and returned to the practice room, where Dave was untangling microphone cables. "Why, Dave?" I whined, "Why can I never get a bag of White Cheddar Cheez-Its out of that blasted machine?!"

"Because they're Tease-Its," Dave replied coyly.

I think I may have thrown something at him. I don't remember.

lisamcc at 10:36:39

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