2007-07-22

The terrists have won.

The Universe bestowed upon me a pair of fuckin' SWEET Red Sox tickets (loge box, behind first base, in "foul ball territory" - particularly if you've got right-handed batters) today. I don't, as a rule of thumb, turn down ANY seats to a Sox game, even if it means sitting with the yobs in the bleachers and running the risk of going home smelling like skunky Bud. I've been in the bleachers, I've been in reasonably decent grandstand seats...and thus far loge is the way to go. I don't believe in them fancy "club" seats; if I wanted to watch the game behind glass, I'd stay home and watch it on television.

It was a good game...very exciting for a bit, there. The White Sox were well on their way to a second hosedown (they lost 11-1 yesterday) when Wakefield starting throwing grapefruits at the top of the 7th. Delcarmen took over, but couldn't settle in, so then we got Okajima, and finally Papelbon. Crazy, man. By the time it was over, it was 8-5 Red Sox.

I also ate like a PIG, and I think I pissed people off when I stayed in my seat and refused to be a participant in that vomitous "Sweet Caroline" singalong. You all know what I'm talking about. If you don't holler "SO GOOD! SO GOOD! SO GOOD!" at the right moment, you might as well have dropped trou during the National Anthem. The terrists have truly won.

Look -- I like Neil Diamond, and I like baseball. I will happily do my part to make a half-assed wave travel around the circumference of the park. I will bellow "YOOOOOOOOK" like a skewered moose. I will eat Fenway's overpriced fare and NOT complain. But I will not do "Sweet Caroline." No no no no no. Even when I was still drinking, and hanging out with the sort of disreputable louts who turn everything on the jukebox into a call-and-response, I would not do "Sweet Caroline."

I know. I'm a miserly misanthropic miscreant and I should just stay home.

lisamcc at 8:04 p.m.

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