2007-07-20

I have issues

My gay boyfriend John Michael is going away on vacation for TWO WEEKS.  This is a terrible thing for him to do and I am never going to forgive him.

Today I stood in the doorway of his office and whimpered.

"What's wrong, Pookie?"
"I don't want you to go on vacation."
"It's summertime, sweetie; that's when people GO on vacation."
"I know...but, but...it's just that you're going to be gone for SO LONG and I won't have nobody to TALK TO."
"There are lots of people you can talk to here."
"It's not the same,"  I continued to hover in the doorway, staring down at my feet as I made vague circular patterns in the carpet with my toes, "I'm going to miss you."
"Aw, bunny.  I'll miss you, too.  You can always come in here and sniff the seat of my chair when you get too lonely."

Actually, there's one reason and one reason alone that I could forgive him for going away for two weeks, and that's the fact that one of those weeks is going to spent in the company of his aunt.  His aunt, you see, is FAMOUS.  Maybe not famous in the Angelina/Britney/Posh-n-Becks sense of the word, but if I mentioned her name you would probably know exactly who I was talking about, unless you're 12 years old or have been living under a rock.  And as far as I'm concerned, there is no greater or more luminous star in the heavens than John Michael's aunt. 

(John Michael was my gay boyfriend even before he told me about this, lest any of you think I'm a fame hag in addition to being a fruit fly.)

"You know, I COULD forgive you if you brought me back a PRESENT.  You know, like a...a...SNOW GLOBE, or...um...somethingfromyouraunt'shouse..."
"What?!  NO."

Hey, a girl can TRY.

lisamcc at 3:07 p.m.

previous | next