...luring disco dollies to a life of vice since 1999.

2002-01-21

Schrauty's: A Rock Opera

So, last night at band practice I seriously went apeshit. To use a South Shore expression, I was "wicked mental." After playing so hard that I broke one of my drumsticks clean in half (because I'm a badass; either that or I'm buying really cheap sticks), I decided that what we really needed to do...what would really give us that extra push off the cliff, would be to write a "concept piece" about Schrauty's.

Tom and Dave, having also grown up on the South Shore, were immediately game, egging me on as I whipped myself into an acid-washed frenzy of nostalgia.

Schrauty's, it must be explained, was one of those unique cultural voids known as a "townie bahh." Oh, but Schrauty's also booked bands. Bands not-quite-ready for the city proper. Bands with loyal followings consisting primarily of girls named Sherry. I dated a guy whose band played at Schrauty's. He would beg me not to come.

"Tuesday Night at Schrauty's!" I half-shrieked, practically falling over my kit as I grabbed a blue bandana from off of Tom's amp. I tied it on my head, pirate-style: "Thankyouverymuch SCHRAUTY'S! Don't forget to tip your WAITRESS!"

Dave choked on his soda.

At this point, Tom jumped in: "Rock on, Schrauty's! Stick around for Draw the Line!"

"WOOOOOOO!"

"Wait, Draw the Line never played Schrauty's, did they?"

"I don't know...I just figured we were sticking with the South Shore theme..."

"Oh...yeah...WOOOOO! SCHRAUTY'S!"

"Aww, but I like Draw the Line..."

"Okay, so, then...who else would've played Schrauty's?"

"Somebody suitably famous-yet-obscure, like...like John Cafferty."

"Yeah!"

"On the daawwwwk si-ide, WHOA, yeaahh..."

"How ya doin' tonight, SCHRAUTY'S?!"