2002-01-23

Cartoon Porn

I bought the new SPIN yesterday on my way home from work, and got all involved in this article about cosplayers, people who dress up like their favorite anime characters.

Being that I'm such a caustic meaniehead by nature, my immediate reaction was, "Cripes, what a bunch of fruitcakes," but then I thought, well, far be it from me to judge � I mean, if you've ever been inside my house, you'd probably think the exact same thing. And, really, when you get right down to it, is dressing up like Sailor Moon any different than my tarting myself up and pretending to be a rock star every other weekend? I think not.

No, where the article got weird is when it went into the whole hentai thing. If you just now clicked on that link, you know what I mean.

Hentai, kids, is basically cartoon porn. Doe-eyed, snub-nosed anime chicks getting it on with doe-eyed, snub-nosed anime dudes, or other anime chicks, or perhaps Pokemon. Hard to say.

At first, I thought, "Well, that's just about the un-sexiest thing I've ever heard of." But then I paused to consider the genre a bit more objectively, if you will. Let's imagine that I've made a few video purchases at Hentai Kitty or wherever, and am settling in for a quality evening with my VCR. Now just what would I, as a purported fan of Japanese cartoon porn, find arousing about a film such as Can Can Bunny or Weather Report Girl? There's certainly the fantasy aspect of it, I suppose, but try as I might, I simply cannot get myself worked up over nekkid cartoon characters.

Maybe the lack of actual fluids has something to do with it.

I mean, I'll be the first to admit that my first major crush was on Speed Racer. Could I take it a step beyond and imagine myself doing the dirty with him? Negative.

lisamcc at 3:43 p.m.

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