2002-01-15

Betty or Veronica?

A bunch of years ago, when I still with Catbox Cabaret, my friend Robert and I had this ongoing discussion, theme being: "Are you a Betty or a Veronica?" We divided all of our friends and associates, regardless of gender, into one or the other category.

It's hard to describe what makes one person a Betty and another a Veronica. You just know, instinctively, which is which. I don't make the rules; I just report the facts.

Okay, for example, Catherine Zeta Jones is a Veronica. Drew Barrymore is a Betty. Hillary Rodham Clinton is a Veronica, but Monica Lewinsky is a total Betty.

Meg Ryan onscreen is a Betty. Meg Ryan in real life is a Veronica.

Camille Paglia is a Veronica. Naomi Wolf would like very much to be a Veronica, but is mired in utter Betty-ness.

Are you getting this? Lisa Crystal Carver is a Veronica. Jewel is a Betty (duh).

I swear to God -- I haven't had a drink in two weeks.

At one point, I asked Robert, "What about me? Which one am I?"

"Oh, you're the worst kind. You're a Betty with a Veronica rising."

I dunno; I kind of think that's a compliment, sort of.

lisamcc at 5:40 p.m.

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