2004-12-25

Tire Records

I was at my brother's house yesterday, doing the fambly Christmas thing, and true to form, he, my sister and I got into a very animated discussion about "holiday music." Basically, Jessica Simpson's special was, according to my brother (because I certainly didn't watch it), "a train wreck, and I can honestly describe it as something you COULD NOT take your eyes off of, because believe me, I wanted very much to."

"It totally sucked, dude," my sister agreed. "They had this scene where Nick and Jessica are totally destroying some song, and then -- and THEN, right? -- Bing Crosby appears in the reflection of the window, you know, like BING CROSBY'S GHOST would be singing with Nick and Jessica."

"Jesus."

"Here's the thing about working in television," my brother said, "I'm easily the oldest guy in the studio, and here's why I know this. I was talking about this show, talking about how godawful it was, and this woman I work with got, like, indignant, I mean just appalled. 'Jessica Simpson has the most BEEEYOOOTIFULL voice,' she says, and she was DEAD SERIOUS."

"Jessica Simpson has the most beautiful pitch corrector, dude."

"I listened to records."

"Of course you did."

"Yesterday I listened to George Wright play Christmas songs on the Wurlitzer."

"Oooooh."

"It fuckin' RULES. It's hands-down better than 90% of what passes for a Christmas rekkid now. And you know the other thing I like? TIRE records. Like -- Firestone, BF Goodrich, Goodyear.....all of those companies put out Christmas records every year, and they're awesome. I want to own, like, ALL of them."

"Uh oh."

"How come they don't do that anymore?"

"Well, now, no -- I bought the KOHL'S Christmas CD. It was playing when you got here. So stores still do stuff like that. It's got, uh, it's got Rob Thomas singing something about Christmas in New York.......I mean, it was only five bucks."

lisamcc at 10:08 a.m.

2 comments so far
Gimpy Old Lady
2004-12-26 13:26:02
Hey, Chicken...guess what I have in my very large collection of lp's? If I'd known you were, like, "into" those things...well, they are yours if you want them. Guess when you were having your music appreciation discussion, I was chasing rugrats. They're in the bookshelves in Dad's "office," if you come down. Also got some "questionable" collections of the "best of" albums...Terry Baxter's orchestra of '70 and '71, plus "The Most Beautiful Music in the World." C'mon down and check them out...
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Marquis
2004-12-27 12:03:06
You do dialogue better than Edward Albee, Isweartagod.
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