2004-12-14
Chriss-AH-muss
Okay, so I told you all about my meeting Mark Hosler. I also promised you the story of my and Brett Milano�s �Journey of Faith� to Boston Common, where one Peter Cetera was appearing, along with myriad other luminaries such as Grover�, Mayor Menino, Santa Claus and the World Series Trophy. Let it not be said that I don�t deliver the goods.
Now, any regular reader of this thing knows all about my irrational feelings towards Mr. Cetera, he of milquetoast offerings to the popular music canon and the improbable sporting of a Bauhaus t-shirt in Chicago�s �You�re The Inspiration� video. The fact that he was appearing at a tree-lighting ceremony, with the aforementioned �co-stars,� gave me a not-entirely-unpleasant rush of schadenfreude. Most of my friends also seek out such dubious pleasures, which is why they�re my friends, and when I mentioned this to Brett he was rather surprisingly enthusiastic about making an outing of it.
Now, had I more time to plan this, I most certainly probably would have arrived early enough to place myself front and center, bearing a glitter-glued posterboard bearing The Question: �WHY THE BAUHAUS SHIRT, PETE? WHAT IN FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT, MAN?!� Really. This is a question that has haunted me since my salad days. It�s one of those questions that I don�t think I really want to know the answer to, because I suspect that it�ll be a tremendous letdown when and if I actually do find out. Anticlimactic. Or something. It�s far better for my state of mind to just periodically draw my own conclusions as to the possible connection between the man responsible for inflicting �Glory of Love� upon the public and the band that arguably spearheaded the �Gothic� subculture.
We arrived in time to catch some �girl group� utterly botch �Rockin� Around The Christmas Tree� (in which the lead singer managed to insert an additional syllable to this holiest of seasons, which I believe should now officially be referred to as �Chriss-AH-muss�).
"Christ, this is awful."
"I know. I�m completely enjoying myself."
This was followed by a troupe of relentlessly cheerful �show choir� types, beaming beatific, pained, rictal grins while swaying with the Chriss-AH-muss spirit and exhorting the crowd to do likewise. At this point, I became rather whiny and petulant. I�d come to see me some Peter Cetera, and I was not having any of this feel-good holiday pukery until he showed up.
"I�ll bet he trashes his trailer�"
"I said tan M&M�s! TAN! I don�t CARE if they don�t make �em anymore! FIND THEM! I�m Peter Fuckin� Cetera!!!"
Finally, he took the stage. Peter Cetera, looking dashing in a mid-length black wool coat and a long white scarf, which he periodically tossed over his shoulder in a magnificently jaunty fashion. He sang �Let It Snow,� and actually managed to make this sound like a Chicago ballad. He then launched into an �original� ditty, off his new Chriss-AH-muss album.
When this was over, he just sort of stood there until some guy in a toy soldier costume told him where to go, as the Mayor came out, mumbled some incomprehensible speech about trees and Nova Scotia, and then � amazingly � produced the World Series trophy from seemingly outta nowhere, at which point the assembled crowds whooped and hollered and pounded each other on the back with much the same fervor they did back in October. What this actually had to do with Chriss-AH-muss, or Peter Cetera, is anyone�s guess, but I imagine they�ll be hauling this thing around until well after Spring Training, holding it aloft at Burger King openings and crowing triumphantly.
It was as Peter Cetera was sort of wandering around in listless half-circles that I began to feel a tiny bit sorry that I�d been so hard on the guy. Exacerbating this was the revelation, from a friend of mine who worked the event, that while the girl group balked at using the porta potties, Cetera didn�t think twice about going in there to take a leak. Now that�s a professional.
Well, in Boston they say
That lisamcc's heart
Grew three sizes that day!*
* - I still think "You're The Inspiration" is the most turgid turd of a song EVER, lest you chickens all think I'm gettin' SOFT.
lisamcc at 1:31 p.m.
4 comments so far
Gimpy Old Lady
2004-12-14 18:52:42
What...? Did you kinda enjoy Cetera? Was it worth the trip and accompanying Chriss-ah-mus renditions AND Mumbles Menino? Hell, you missed my "swan song" concert... but I "forgive" you...wait til you see your very special Yankee Christmas Candle...
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Paula
2004-12-14 20:30:28
I can't believe I wasn't there to share that with you, you semi-heartless gash. Love me tomorrow, won't you please promise me, love me tomorrow like today?
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Lisa
2004-12-14 21:14:22
Tough darts! Was it MY idea for you to move to LA, where you can see any number of second-and-third tier "celebrities" the minute you walk out the door? Bitch! We'll live forever, knowing together that we did it all for the Glory of Love. Or something.
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Hub
2004-12-15 15:54:41
Do they make a Cetera-scented Yankee Candle?
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Stumble It!
