2003-11-07
Ennui. SQL. And Blowjobs.
I'm sitting here, watching VH1 Classic. I mean, when it comes down to brass tacks, chickens, is there anything else worth watching? And y'all better hadn't dare leave a note suggesting that the History Channel might be a better alternative, as would shutting the television off altogether, because I have a very low threshold for that kind of predictable snarkiness....and....um, okay, the Eagles are on, and now I'm just kind of paralyzed. Do I change the channel? I hate the Eagles. But....maybe the next video will be a good one.
This moment has been brought to you by A Full Week of SQL. Do you hear that sizzling sound? That would be what's left of my brain. Soon, I will be able to pour what's left of it into a soup can, to keep in the fridge should we need to fry something this weekend.
If I may channel Cher for a moment here: if I could turn back time, I would never have let on that I understand database management. Because once people get wise to the fact that you have even a cursory knowledge of How to Turn the Damn Thing On, there's no turning back.
Well, the open mic went pretty well. I got a serious case of the frights, for reasons that I cannot explain other than to reiterate that I've just developed this serious block about playing guitar in front of other people. I don't get it. I can play drums, I can sing, I can don a giant prosthetic ass and act like an imbecile in a club setting, but stick a guitar in my hand and make me go up onstage and it's all I can do to not puke from sheer, animal panic. So, I choked on the first song, but Paula was with me for the rest of it, which helped considerably.
Maybe when it comes down to it, I just have a fear of Being Serious. Before I went on, Ad asked me if I was going to sing "that blowjob song you used to do," referring to a particularly filthy little ditty I made up one drunken night a looong time ago -- but evidently NOT LONG ENOUGH AGO -- that continues to haunt me to this day. Go figure. I can bust out the jams when singing about fellatio, but try and do a nice Romeo Void cover, and it's all down the proverbial head, pun intended.
lisamcc at 8:39 p.m.
2 comments so far
Tom
2003-11-08 19:33:26
Oh man, YOU do a blowjob song too? Seems like you can't turn around these days without a blowjob song poking you in the ear. And they all suck! Ain't it great? (BTW, Romeo Void still blasts out my speakers regularly. Wheeee!)
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justvisiting
2003-11-09 14:40:00
Was that a pun too? The comment that all blowjob songs "suck?" Funny, funny...
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