...luring disco dollies to a life of vice since 1999.

2003-06-26

IMs = for the lazy diarist

Yahoo Instant Messenger is a beautiful thing, if only for the fact that it provides fodder for the diary when I can't think of anything else to write. Today's conversation with Paula follows:

whuziwhuzz: Shari's going to Krispy Kreme...I'm fuckin jealous.

necro_wafer: Our comptroller brought in two boxes of 'em today. I hoovered about 3 of the fuckers.

whuziwhuzz: they're so goddamn good.

whuziwhuzz: I like the classic glazed ones and the vanilla creme ones- they look like little spaceships.

necro_wafer: They're laced with crack or something. They've ruined me for all other donuts.

whuziwhuzz: Little...delicious...spaceships

whuziwhuzz: Oh, totally, me too.

necro_wafer: Guhhhh. They're like sex.

necro_wafer: They're like the last night of sex with someone moving away for good.

whuziwhuzz: Mmm...donut sex...

necro_wafer: Man, I gotta go see if there are any more in the break room.

whuziwhuzz: Will you IM me one?

necro_wafer: Awww, they're long gone. Long. The. Fuck. Gone.

whuziwhuzz: Of course they are. Little bastards.

whuziwhuzz: It says they're open till 2AM but how late do you think they make 'em fresh?

necro_wafer: Right now? It must be more or less constant.

whuziwhuzz: Oh, because of the opening hoopla?

necro_wafer: For sure. They'd run out otherwise.

necro_wafer: I wanna go!

whuziwhuzz: Yeah? let's go!

necro_wafer: Really!

whuziwhuzz: Do you get a break from work? I could get you now...

whuziwhuzz: Or would you rather go tonight?

necro_wafer: Nahhhh. I'm chained to the cube today.

necro_wafer: End of the fiscal year on Monday.

whuziwhuzz: Ass

whuziwhuzz: You need a job you can blow off.

necro_wafer: Huh. Tell me about it.

necro_wafer: I need to be a kept woman.

whuziwhuzz: You so do. With a grape-peeling bitch.

necro_wafer: I need to write a shitty, tear-jerker novel that can be made into a shitty chick flick. I need to write the next "Bridges of Madison County" and live off that.

whuziwhuzz: You can write that out of your ass while your head's busy doing good stuff.

necro_wafer: Yeah, I don't know. My internal editor would need to be bound and gagged first.

whuziwhuzz: Yeah...I keep meaning to write bullshit Dianne Warren-esque songs to hock but it's on the perma-back burner. I just can't. It was hard enough to write that song for Poison...

necro_wafer: Aw, I liked that song. "Never been so gone as when you left....meeeeeee..." That was genius.

whuziwhuzz: heh. thanks.

necro_wafer: Why didn't they take it? Morons.

whuziwhuzz: I don't know if they ever got it. However...

whuziwhuzz: Steev Ricardo used to manage them and he's still in contact with 'em

whuziwhuzz: he said I should give it to him and he'll make sure they get it.

necro_wafer: Meh heh heh. That would rule. Poison would make a complete comeback and then you could, um, keep me as your bitch.

whuziwhuzz: You'd be a hard bitch to handle...

necro_wafer: No! I'm really quite docile when I don't have to actually do anything.

whuziwhuzz: heh.

whuziwhuzz: Or- you could live off my spoils and we could each keep our own bitches.

necro_wafer: Man. Wealth is wasted on the rich.

whuziwhuzz: So fuckin true.

whuziwhuzz: Screw cars and hogs. I want a whole bitch hierarchy.

necro_wafer: Yes. I want a slew of corduroy-clad emo boys to do my bidding and tell me how brilliant I am.

necro_wafer: Have you read some of the paint stuff lately? Fucked up.

whuziwhuzz: Not lately....

whuziwhuzz: His entries seem to be either two sentences or eighty pages

necro_wafer: Yeah, some of the stream-of-consciousness stuff is actually quite good.

whuziwhuzz: Yeah? Don't know if I can make the commitment.

necro_wafer: To being a regular reader, you mean?

whuziwhuzz: No, to read any long ones in their entirety.

necro_wafer: The "interviews" are tough to read. Of course, I've utilized this form in recent weeks, so....

whuziwhuzz: Yeah, but in a paletable (sp) way.

whuziwhuzz: pallettable?

necro_wafer: palatable

whuziwhuzz: Ah.

necro_wafer: Gold star for weezie

whuziwhuzz: :)

necro_wafer: I'm a good spellur.

whuziwhuzz: So what's paint's freakin' problem? Broken home? Molested as a kid? Worms?

necro_wafer: Mm. Not sure. Probably spent a lot of time in his room.

whuziwhuzz: Like any good indie boy

necro_wafer: I know I did....and I've got the similar Burroughs-esque prose to prove it. One time my sister walked into my bedroom to borrow something and saw me just staring at the wall. She couldn't snap me out of it and it freaked her out.

whuziwhuzz: whoa!

necro_wafer: (wrist-staple-forehead) It was so HARD to be meeeeeeee.

whuziwhuzz: I wish I had a little sister to freak out.

necro_wafer: Ordinarily she's quite unflappable.

whuziwhuzz: I can imagine.

whuziwhuzz: She's a good one.

necro_wafer: Yeah, I'm gonna keep her.

whuziwhuzz: You and Shari were at the front of the line when they were handing out sisters.

whuziwhuzz: Poooooor meeeeeee! Ah, life!

whuziwhuzz: Sob!

necro_wafer: "I wear black on the outside because black is how I feeeeeel on the innnnnsiiiiiiide..."

whuziwhuzz: I think I gotta go to the freakin gym.