2000-12-27

Six-Month-Old Babies = Rock

Yeah, I haven't updated in, like, years. I blame the holidays.

Speaking of, I spent the bulk of the holiday in the company of six-month-old babies. Six-month-old babies are pretty damn cool; they're at the point where they go from being these blotchy, red-faced, Winston Churchill-looking entities to little demented people. They're hugely entertaining, six-month-old babies.

I spent Christmas Eve hanging out with Six-Month-Old Baby #1, my niece Miranda. Miranda likes to growl and hurl things, like Godzilla. I think when she's not actually in the act of doing one or the other, she's thinking about it. You can see her knot up her little brows, contemplative: "Once I am finished gumming this zwieback into a drooly, cakey paste, I will destroy Tokyo."

To prove this Miranda-as-Godzilla theory, my sister Tina and I pitted her against Crawling Baby Minnie Mouse, placing them about five feet away from each other, in the Monster Showdown of the Century.

Minnie: "I'm Baby Minnie! I love you!"

Miranda: "GAAHHHHHHRRR!!!" (grabs Minnie by hind flank, flings her under the dining room table).

Spent Christmas Day with Six-Month-Old Baby #2, my niece Emily. Interestingly enough, Emily is also a growler, and like Miranda, responded very favorably to my getting up in her little baby face and hollering "WHUZZZZZZZAHHHHH?!" I'm telling you, six-month-old babies love that shit. They're probably the only segment of the population that finds this funny.

I like them, those six-month-old babies. They're like my own little fan club. Emily and Miranda think I'm hysterical. But then, Emily also thinks the fireplace is hilarious.

lisamcc at 22:54:33

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