2000-12-20

Cake

Today's date: 12/20/00. 4 more shopping days until Christmas.

Listening to: the Tubes.

Wearing: Black sweater, jeans, enormous boots.

Currently: wasting Valuable Company Time�.

Remind me to kill someone in the office today. Rather, remind me to kill the next person in this office who brings in a frosted something-or-other and leaves it in the xerox room with a hastily decorated piece of copy paper exhorting me to "enjoy!"

"Enjoy!" Fuck you.

"Merry Christmas!" Fuck you.

What people ought to do, is take one of those pieces of copy paper, and festoon it with renderings of holly-sprigged pigs and cows instructing: "Why dontcha take some of this and rub it directly on your ass, since that's where it's gonna end up anyway?"

It's insane. I never feel so much like an office drone as I do around the holidays, when I'm confronted with the irrefutable evidence of my situation: baked goods. Nothing screams "nine-to-fiver!" like a wastebasket full of cookie crumbs and a too-snug waistband. Just over the course of today, the xerox room has been home to: a tin of Harry&David chocolate-covered cherries, a pan of some kind of streusel-ly thing, and this evil, enormous yellow cake that just reeks of Duncan Hines.

It's enough to make you run screaming.

lisamcc at 22:17:10

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