2000-12-04

Put-downs

Wanted: a new, fresh put-down.

I feel like I've exhausted my arsenal of put-downs, what with having spent the better part of 2-and-a-half months hanging out in a dank dressing room, drinking Jack Daniels and talking trash. It's exhausting, maintaining my reputation as a potty mouth.

A particularly puerile put-down, one that got us through much of the summer and fall, was "gaylord." So immature. So suburban. So politically incorrect.

We were in the throes of calling each other this when The Marquis came to visit one weekend. By that Saturday evening every other word out of his mouth was "gaylord."

(Note that in order to really get the full impact of the insult, it must be delivered with the appropriate south suburban Boston accent and modifier: "Shuddup, you're a wicked gay-laaahd.")

Earlier, Jess and I took to calling each other "underpants," which - again - had to be delivered in the proper accent: undahpannts.

But now, I'm just stuck. I stand around in clubs, ready to haul off and hurl some charmingly juvenile invective at a fellow musician (all in the name of camaraderie, dontcha know), and just end up sputtering some feeble denunciation: "Yeah, wellll...uhhh...you suck!"

I'm particularly interested in collecting "regionalisms." What was the big put-down where you spent those crucial, adolescent years? Please let me know ASAP; I've got band practice on Thursday and would love to render my guitar player speechless...

lisamcc at 23:36:55

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