2000-08-31

Slumber Party Pt. 2

Flashlights everywhere. Several rogue-ish fellows proceeded to jump up and down in front of us, making whooping noises and shouting something about "panties." One of them was in a fright wig and a Chachi-esque muscle shirt. I'm pretty sure another had a Mexican wrestling mask on. At any rate, before we could clearly make out who was who, the marauders charged out the front door and down the street.

We were immediately awash in giddy outrage.

"Those fuckers."

"Fucking fuckers."

"Let's go get �em." Jess, ever the thoughtful hostess, had planned ahead and set aside a large bowl of pre-filled water balloons. Treading carefully across the living room (the power was still out), we armed ourselves with the "water grenades" and crept stealthily out to the front lawn.

Dig, if you will, the picture of six grown women in full-on drag makeup, half in-the-bag, wearing wigs and pajamas, each carrying an arsenal of water balloons and wine coolers, crouched on the lawn in an otherwise quiet, working-class neighborhood. Let it sink in.

"Do you see anyone?"

"No."

"Do you think they left?"

"No way. There has to be more to it than that."

A car rounded the corner, turned its headlights out and its hazards on, and slowed to a crawl as it approached the house.

"Ohhhh....subtle."

"Those fucking wankers."

"Shit. That's Ad's car."

"Izzit?"

"Hell, yeah." Shari pulled herself up. "I'm gonna nail �em." She heaved forward just as the car sped up, and hurled her water balloon at it. It exploded against the side of the car as it continued up the street.

"Holy shit. I think you blew out a taillight."

"Shari. You are so dead."

"I need another fucking drink."

"Wait...wait...what if some of them are in the house still?"

"How many of them were in the car?"

"Dunno."

"This blows. I want another drink."

"I'll go with."

"Get me another wine cooler?"

"Sure."

Linda and I remained crouched behind Jess's SUV.

"Lees."

"Lin."

"I'm having so much fun, Lees."

"Me too. Lin?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm soooo drunk, Lin."

"I'm wicked drunk."

"Fuckin' yah, dood. These wine coolahhs are killah."

Paula came back out in a swirl of leopard-print, with a fresh highball. "How'd you get that?"

"I made it. Duh."

"Is the power back on?"

"No. We found a flashlight."

Ad's car rounded the corner again. As it neared the house, its occupants leaned out the windows and hollered something in unison before speeding up the street.

"What'd they say?!"

"They said: 'You throw like a girl.'"

"ASSholes."

lisamcc at 17:22:00

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