2000-08-09

My New Pen

It's official. I am now completely Off My Rocker�.

Yesterday afternoon, on my way home from my Big Girl� job as a Number Cruncher�, I stopped into one of those accessory stores. You know: those little hole-in-the-wall places catering exclusively to 13-year-old girls with plenty of expendable cash and rampant urges to spend it on sparkly, fuzzy and/or boy-plastered items of apparel. I went into one of those.

I bought an *NSYNC pen.

Yes, I really did.

I turned said writing instrument around and around, contemplatively, in my hands. Surely I would arouse no suspicion in the gum-snapping cashier. I was older than any of the other customers, or staff for that matter, by a probable margin of at least 10 years. I was tidily dressed in my Number Crunching� clothes. Surely I would have a niece or first-cousin-once-removed with a birthday coming up. I wiped my sweaty palms on my blazer, and marched to the counter with my *NSYNC pen. The cashier disinterestedly rang up my glaringly anachronistic purchase and tossed it into a pastel-addled plastic baggie, instructing me, through her mouthful of gum, to "have a nice day, ma'am."

I gripped the bag on my way out, chanting to myself: "I'm 30 years old and I just bought an *NSYNC pen, I'm 30 years old and I just bought an *NSYNC pen..."

Once the initial shame-tinged shock of the purchase wore off, I felt great. Elated, even. I couldn't wait to get home and give it a test-write.

Giddily I threw my belongings on the couch, opened the package, and immediately scrawled "Mrs. Joey Fatone" on the pad we keep next to the telephone. Mortified, I immediately wadded it up and shoved it way at the bottom of the wastebasket under the bathroom sink, where Kev would never think to look.

I'm a disturbed young lady.

lisamcc at 16:02:25

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