2000-05-04

I Speak Betty

Last night I got to hang out with a couple of my old RAWK pals, Linda and Ad. It's always fun to hang out with those two because I can say the foulest and/or goofiest things around them and it's consistently encouraged. For example, Linda and I spent several hours yelling "ASS!" at random moments, just because we liked the way it sounded.

Ad's a different story. Certainly he enjoys our juvenile outbursts. But Ad says things that constantly floor me, just knock me out, because Ad, whether he knows it or not, speaks fluent Betty.

Must explain to you about the Betty Vernacular. My mother raised us under a shower of peculiar phrases and exclamations that we heard nowhere else. The Betty Vernacular utilizes a combination of pidgin German, slang of questionable origin, and acceptable Catholic cuss words:

"Well, I was giving Teeney-toots a bath, and I turned around, and oh - I'll never forget this - when I turned back she wasn't in the tub. Well. I panicked, you know, because there were some real fruitcakes in that neighborhood, like that character with that dog of hers - what was his name - Poochie - and I look out the window and she's tearin' up Brewster Street bollocky bare-assed, happy as a pig in shit. Jesus Mary, and Joseph! So I grab a towel and start chasing after her, yelling �Getten Sie back in that house!' Jesus H. Christ, I was ready to kill that kid that day..."

Language is a virus.

lisamcc at 13:49:59

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