2000-01-14

Hipper Than Thou

So I had the unnerving task of helping to corral 800+ 13-year-olds into a student matinee at work today. There I was, an authority figure, which also means that I was instantly suspicious, and desperately uncool, to all 800+ of these aforementioned post-zygotes. Anything that came out of my mouth this morning was immediately hilarious and cause for much mockery. A simple request was met with a screechy chorus of mimicry: "C'mon guys...fill in the whole row!!!" I went back to my office, shaken, happy to again deal with the spreadsheets and requisitions that my boring-ass grown-up job entails. "My God," I thought, "I have become unhip." No amount of war stories about my drunken cavorting and questionable musicianship would ever make me, in the eyes of these kids, above ridicule.

Then I got indignant. I found myself sputtering at my desk, spraying coffee-tinged saliva all over a pile of deposit slips: "I am hip, dammit! Damn kids. They need to all be shipped off somewhere 'til they're eighteen!"

I'm hip! And so are you! But wait -- are you REALLY?!

Here's my all purpose Hip Test. I use it to gauge whether or not I can relate to someone. It's only one question, so don't sweat it. Granted, my standards are low, and what is hip for me just may be downright pathetic to you, but here goes:

What was the name of Richie Cunningham's older brother?

A) Aw, damn! It's right on the tip of my tongue!

B) Richie Cunningham had an older brother?

C) Who's Richie Cunningham?

The correct answer is A. Now, if you actually know his name, well, you're too hip...

lisamcc at 22:06:33

previous | next