2007-04-17

Hitting the wall (among other things)

I have hit the wall. I cannot stand my apartment anymore.

We've lived in the same 4-room, "shotgun-style" quintessential JP triple-deckah since the day Princess Diana died. No shit. We moved in that very day. That's -- what -- ten years? And those of you who've had the singularly...interesting ...experience of visiting me in my wee digs know that my STUFF has a tendency to take over. Here I am in the front room, about 3 years ago:

...and it's only gotten worse. Ask the houseboy. Every day is a struggle for the poor dear, trying to select a book from a shelf crammed with vintage Fisher-Price toys, or attempting to shave in a bathroom full of Elvis memorabilia. What can I say? I came by this honestly. I hail from a long, sorta-distinguished line of packrats. We had to rent a giant dumpster for all the stuff we hauled out of my parents' house, and believe you me when I say that there were long, agonizing discussions as to whether or not there was a genuine need for 40 years' worth of LIFE magazines.

I digress. Our place is too small, the kitchen is a disaster (I believe the stove to be not much younger than myself), and the houseboy needs a study...a place where he can go, shut the door, and work toward his Ph.D. without a bevy of Weebles, rubber lizards and Santeria statuettes leering down at him from every surface. I think the very notion of such a refuge causes him to weep quietly into his pillow every night.

To that end, I've started looking at larger dwellings. To that end, I've started gradually purging our current dwelling. This is a dreadful process. I could never be a Buddhist -- I am so very attached to objects. And a lot of it is just STUPID crap that, stylistically, has no place in my house. Like the "Pneumonia Angels." Terrible, chintzy little tchotkes that I ordinarily would have nothing to do with, except that I've attached some sort of semi-mystical importance to them. Because I'm INSANE.

And we won't even get into the thermos bottle collection. Except maybe we will. OK - the houseboy HATES the thermos bottle collection. Every time I do a purge, he asks hopefully: "Are you gonna get rid of the thermos bottles?"

"WHAT?! No."

I'm sure there's some sort of recovery group for people like me, but I gotta tackle one addiction at a time, here.

lisamcc at 11:15 a.m.

6 comments so far
The Houseboy
2007-04-17 11:47:30
Readers should know that our triple-deckah is a duplex (i.e. six apartments instead of three) and one side of the apartment has NO WINDOWS. Nothing but a row of Thermoses to look at!
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vikkitikkitavi
2007-04-17 13:23:32
Wow, my floaty pen collection is seeming rather pedestrian now.
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Lexi Kahn
2007-04-17 16:22:52
I got like a hundred Barbie dolls. About ten nun dolls. Oddly, no Barbie nun dolls. But yeah, my shit doesn't come near to the majesty that is your shit. You gots good shit. Sad to say I'd be first in line at the tag sale.
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Melanie
2007-04-17 17:00:56
My husband keeps talking about "getting rid of unnecessary tchotchkes" when we move. I don't understand what he means -- unnecessary tchotchkes???
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Mom
2007-04-17 22:20:28
Get rid of the stuff and be FREE...it is extremely painful and you know how I suffered...but it was worth it. Besides, you suddenly find new things that you never noticed before and what a great idea it would be to start collecting them.................
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Matt
2007-05-02 15:00:54
Hey Lisa, can I get your new email address? I guess the BU one isn't valid anymore?
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