2002-08-14

American Asshole

You know, thank God that Meredith works several cubicles down from mine, because she is the only person I can physically speak to about this terrible problem I have with "American Idol" (or, as Paula so daintily calls it, "American Asshole").

Last night, as I was waiting for certain sections of my hair to fry to the desired white-blonde and deep purple shades, I sat goggle-eyed in front of the television, just absolutely mesmerized as I have never been by any program before.

Okay, so the judges seem to have finally seen past the hair and clothes and have acknowledged what we have known all along: NIKKI CAN'T SING. And she knows it, which is why I suspect she played the "mommy" card last night, getting her kid up there to bring her flowers like some kind of trained chimp. Hard to say if she'll be the one who gets axed now, due to that little show of motherly love.

The "theme" last night, for those of you not keeping track, was all Burt Bacharach songs, with Burt himself rehearsing the selections with them! Burt was all over Tamyra's shit (she did "A House is not a Home" and made Paula Abdul cry!). RJ did a serviceable, utterly bland rendition of "Arthur's Theme," prompting Burt to simply refer to him as "a nice guy."

Nikki, though, absolutely destroyed "Always Something There to Remind Me." How hard is it to wreck that song....how? Yet she managed to squall her way through it with all the subtlety of a black bear trying to tip over a VW bug full of tourists. Christ, it was TERRIBLE.

My vote? I'd prefer to see RJ or Justin go � they're boring. Nikki really needs to get the boot, too, but I could certainly stand to see her go another round, simply because I do still get quite a bit of enjoyment from wailing in anguish at the television the minute she opens her mouth.

I know, I know....I seriously need to find a new hobby, or something. My ranting on and on about it via email prompted Ad to ask if I actually do "any work at all."

It's all about the multi-tasking, chickens.

lisamcc at 3:53 p.m.

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