2002-08-02

Pirate Booty. And a lesson in alcoholic thinking.

This morning on my way to work, I ducked into the little convenience/liquor store to buy a couple of AAA batteries. The guy in front of me was purchasing a pint of Wild Irish Rose (at a mere $2.00, it's the most cost-effective way to get a nice buzz-on before 9 am). I bought my batteries, and headed towards the subway station, thinking to myself, "Man, I would never have bought booze before noon." Then I thought, "That's why you always make sure that you have some left over, so you don't have to be seen buying it at 8:15 in the morning."

And that, chickens, is alcoholic thinking.

So. For the last week or so we've had a pigeon living on the steps outside the office. Michael, Matt, Veronica and I have been very concerned about the pigeon, much to the consternation/amusement of several other staff members, one of whom simply can't understand why we would allow ourselves to have such compassion for "vermin with wings." For the past few days, one or all of us have been going out to the steps with a bag of Pirate's Booty left over from Jaime's going-away party, pitching the little cheese-dusted puffs to the thoroughly disconcerted-looking pigeon, then checking back to see if he was actually eating it.

We couldn't figure out if the pigeon was sick, old, or had a broken wing. He would just hunker down on the steps, looking pathetic and downright Dickensian. It was a source of somber discussion in the break room, at the reception area, and in the restrooms. What are we going to do about the pigeon? What's wrong with the pigeon? Did you check to see if the pigeon is eating the Pirate's Booty?

As it turned out, when we brought the pigeon to the Animal Rescue League, he was a relatively young pigeon -- probably hadn't figured out how to fly yet. Basically, young as this pigeon was, he most certainly recognized us as the chumps that we were, and knew a good thing when he saw it. In his little pigeon brain he must have been thinking, "If I stick around here, that chick with the glasses'll come out and give me some more of that Pirate's Booty."

lisamcc at 9:18 a.m.

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