2002-06-24

Watch it jiggle....

Okay, okay...due to the number of responses I got to the previous entry -- most of which were along the lines of: "You stupid twat, don't you know those SendACrush things aren't for real?!" (OK, I made up the "stupid twat" bit) -- I am willing to accept the fact that not one of you has a crush on me, that I am merely the random victim of some soulless SpamBot (tm), and that perhaps I am projecting a tiny bit.

No matter. I am so energized by what I saw earlier this evening that I am willing to forget all about my horribly deflated ego at the hands of SendACrush and all of you terrible chickens who saw fit to let me know it was a scam. Bad, bad chickens. Like Auntie Lisa isn't dealing with enough.

Okay, so, tonight....I get out of one of those church basements where I sit around and drink horrible coffee with a bunch of other sober alkies....it's early in the evening -- around 7 or so -- and it's still warm and sunny, so I decide to take a jaunt through the Common and up Boylston Street. I duck into FAO Schwartz to indulge my inner 9-year-old (all 9 year-olds are completely psychotic; it's a fact). After taking in all of the action figures and lamenting the fact that I simply have no more room in my apartment to indulge this considerably-less-nasty habit of mine, I'm ready to head out when I am drawn into a pink-and-lavender-hued vortex.

Three words: JELL-O Fun Barbie.

Fucking genius. Oh, chickens.

What a world! I mean, who thinks this shit up? More to the point, who out there in DoubleplusgoodMarketingWorld is so utterly incapable of recognizing irony that he or she would genuinely think that the commercial union of a jiggling, shiny, near-transparent food product to the representation of jiggling, shiny, near-transparent womanhood was a good idea?

There's no question about it. JELL-O Fun Barbie will be mine. Oh, fuck, yes.

lisamcc at 9:05 p.m.

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