2001-07-30

Update

One thing I've noticed lately, here in D-land and in similar territories, is the tendency of diarists to quickly dismiss folks who don't update every ten minutes. O.K., that's an exaggeration, but in the last couple of days the only feedback I've gotten has to do with the fact that I need to update more often.

Sigh.

God, how to put this without sounding bitchy or ungrateful...

If it's one thing I don't deal well with, it's being pressured, or even gently prodded, to be creative. On the one hand, I suppose I should be flattered that people are interested enough in this diary to check it on a regular basis. On the other hand, I never claimed that this exercise of mine was a day-to-day examination of my Incredibly Exciting Life, and I can't help but feel panic when I'm essentially being reprimanded, in accordance to some unspoken Online Diarist Code of Ethics, for not being more prolific.

I mean, sheesh chickens, if I were to update this thing every day, you'd all be bored to tears. Yesterday I tied dozens of raffia bows to dozens of tiny little beeswax candles in preparation for my sister's wedding, ate some pizza, and went to bed. Lord God, the maelstrom of tedium! I must rush to my computer and make it sound amazing!

Here's the thing: I have a job, I have a husband, I have a band, and I have a zine that I eventually need to finish. I've been Queen Procrastinator since the first time Miss Coughlin asked me to finish up my macaroni-and-construction-paper kindergarten self-portrait, and most days I'm amazed that I'm able to get anything accomplished, what with having the attention span of a fruit fly on top of everything else.

Some of my favorite reads update even less frequently than I do. And then there are some diarists who astound me by being able to update as many as three times a day, yet keep it fresh and engaging. I am not one of those people, unfortunately. I get tired and lazy and cranky. Some days ideas just hit me like a load of wet beach towels. Other days I'm hard-pressed to even answer my email, let alone come up with something to write about in my diary.

So, long story short: thank you for reading. I do appreciate it. I'm grateful for the attention, and I'm grateful for the fact that some of you seem genuinely disappointed when I go more than a few days without an update. But please don't dismiss my writing as being less worthy because I can't - or won't - do it every day.

lisamcc at 4:57 p.m.

previous | next