The carnival is in town.

I'm not talking about Charlie Sheen's impending "torpedo of truth" or whatever he's calling Admiral Winky these days. No, I mean an actual CARNIVAL. Blinking lights and rides operated by shifty-looking characters.

Apparently, this carnival sets itself down every year around this time in the parking lot of the Revere Multimegalopolisplex, which is about a 5 minute walk from our house. Why the organizers see fit to plop its carnival in the wintry tundra that is Revere in March is anyone's guess.

I have mixed feelings about this. A part of me - the nine-year-old who thinks that poop jokes are the cutting edge of contemporary comedy - is COMPLETELY PSYCHED. The rest of me - that jaded, crabby 40-year-old who wants to slap anyone over the age of 15 who seriously uses "LOL" - wants to avoid this at all costs. It's going to be packed with douchebags and teenagers, all of whom will be wearing Ed Hardy tshirts. It's going to smell like rancid cotton candy, regurgitated funnel cake, Bud Light, and raging hormones. The air around the Revere Multimegalopolisplex will vibrate with shrieks, bellowed profanity, and auto-tuned nasally pop songs. It's going to be a FRIGGING NIGHTMARE.

And yet I still want to go.

Because a carnival, even a skeevy one such as has camped out mere yards from my home, is rife with promise. It teems with borrowed nostalgia. You will meet a boy, and even if this boy is wearing an Autograph tshirt, you will permit him to win you a stuffed animal that smells vaguely of petroleum. You will engage in a horrible makeout session during which you realize he kisses like a PEZ dispenser, but yet you will give him your phone number and eagerly anticipate his call, which never happens, but you can't know this yet. Right now, the lights are bright and wild, and your suitor's hand is wicked sweaty, and the night is full of romance.

Not that I know anything about this.

I am guessing I will avoid it. In the meantime, I AM enjoying the view from the bus stop.

lisamcc at 1:14 p.m.

4 comments so far
2011-03-21 17:26:56
i used to hate when that carnival came in because it cut the size of the flea market in half.

Kay Ballard
2011-03-22 07:27:09
I use LOL all of the time. Seriously. Sometimes I garnish it with one or more exclamation points. Oh my god! Your comments section has morphed into a confessional.

2011-03-22 11:45:30
@Kay - oh, I know I'm outnumbered in my curmudgeonly battle against internet acronyms. My griping is essentially the online equivalent of telling kids to get off my lawn.

2011-04-04 07:29:52
I'm feeling a little envious that you met a boy who made out with you and then never called you again. I couldn't even get anyone to make out with me! Well done, Lees!

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