The Cult of Beto.

One thing that my move to the 'burbs definitely cramped was my workout schedule. With it now taking me an hour to get to and from work, going to the gym has become...difficult. Not impossible; just difficult. I used to go after work, in those heady, halcyon days of a ten-minute commute. Post-move, going after work would get me home at around 8:30 pm, which - I'm sorry - was a total drag. Going BEFORE work would mean I'd have to get up at 5, and God bless those of you that do that sort of thing, but my body is not programmed to be any kind of functional prior to 7:30. Lunchtime workouts don't really work for those of us in nonprofit arts management.

And, if I can be perfectly frank, going to the gym sucks. It's boring. It's always been boring. Even at the Y, I can't avoid the pretty people with their body-hugging workout gear as I slog alongside them in my sweats and 20-year-old oversized Love & Rockets concert tees. I've loaded my iPod with Nitzer Ebb, Skinny Puppy, and pre-Thriller Michael Jackson to put me "in the mood" for these boring-as-hell workouts, to no avail.

So it was with mixed feelings that I canceled my gym membership earlier this month. On the one hand, it's going to be saving me about $600 a year, and I never enjoyed going there. On the other, I am acutely aware that I have the tendency of my Irish/German forebears to put on weight squarely around my middle. When this goes unchecked by regular exercise, I take on the singularly unattractive proportions of Grimace on stilts.

So what's a girl to do?


That's right. I joined the cult of Beto Perez, and who wouldn't?

Beto is my new boyfriend. Beto doesn't care if I'm wearing a 20-year-old Love & Rockets concert tee. Beto purrs at me like a languid Latin lover, like me in my boy haircut and the faded visage of Daniel Ash across my knockers is the sexiest thing he's ever seen. I gave Beto my credit card number, and my heart. Beto gave me a 5-DVD set and a pair of maraca dumbbells, which terrify the cats as I shake them (and my booty) every morning in my living room yelling, "Babalooooooo!"

I'm totally hooked.

lisamcc at 10:27 a.m.

2 comments so far
2011-02-21 16:50:41
Ohhhh! This is good to know! I was thinking about doing Zumba since I, too, find working out extremely boring. And Zumba sounded fun. I thought you had to go to a class to do it, and I've been... uneasy about that. I know it involves dancing... someone I only do in public when I'm not quite sober. I'm going to see if they have any DVDs on Netflix.

2011-03-05 02:04:00
I just ordered my very own Zumba video, I've been thinking about it for a long time, and all your talk about how fun it is, and those ABS have convinced me!

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