2010-12-01

Why it matters.

I spend a lot of time crafting language to get people and/or institutions to make charitable contributions. I spend a lot of time talking to these people and the people who represent certain institutions about why the arts matter. I use broad strokes when writing these things and having these discussions. I don't go into why they matter to ME, or rather, why they mattered to me as a kid.

Excuse the pun, but I don't think I'm being dramatic when I say that theatre saved my life.

Listen, when you've spent your formative years being told, directly and indirectly, by peers and the people charged with looking after your "well being," that you're fatuglyweirdstupid, you internalize a whole lot of hurt that settles so deeply into every tissue, that you walk around in a tight, dense cloud of pain. You have essentially "learned" that you're unlovable, and that anyone who approaches you has sinister motives. You don't know how to "be yourself" anymore, because all you know how to do is avoid detection at any cost. It's a pretty terrible way to live, and you're only 13 years old.

Now, if you're lucky, your school has arts education. You have an artroom or an auditorium or a music space to which you can retreat when you are overwhelmed or sad. You have a sympathetic teacher who encourages you without mollycoddling. You have a chance to see things from a different perspective, or to understand what "to hold as 'twere the mirror up to nature" can mean. You come to realize that the opinions of others in no way defines who you are, and so you therefore learn to be yourself, among other kids who are steadfastly, unapologetically themselves.

I walked into my first drama class in seventh grade, having transferred into the public junior high in the middle of that year, because things at my former school had become - in a word - intolerable. My clothes were wrong, my hair was wrong, and I'd been conditioned more or less to believe that everything about me was wrong. Within a week, I was performing a scene from "Macbeth." By the end of eighth grade, I learned to think on my feet and improvise. By tenth grade, I was building and painting sets and had met most of the people who'd be my friends for the next 25 years and beyond. By the time I graduated high school, I'd gotten a small scholarship to go act in plays as a college student. And for the last 18 years, I've worked in theatre, maybe not always in the most glamourous capacity, but I'm immersed in it and nourished by it and I have no desire to leave it, ever. Because it saved my life.

I'm not saying here that sports or other extracurriculars do not serve that same purpose. Sports are important. But the arts are no less important, and yet they're often the first to go when budgets need to be reconfigured. Why? Perhaps because it's "frivolous" and unnecessary to teach junior how to work with, and listen to, others in order to put on a play? It's not of particular importance for kids to feel comfortable in their own skin, to stand up straight and look someone in the eye or to have the means to express themselves in the ways in which they are naturally inclined? I don't know the answer. I know that it's often complicated and that administrators are up against the wall and that in the grand scheme of things, puttin' on a show ranks considerably lower than football, or soccer, or hockey. I just have to wonder sometimes if people understand that "teamwork" and "healthy competition" can be learned in a number of different ways.

Yes, there are resources outside of the schools. I work for one. We try very hard to make things as inexpensive as possible for the parents of these kids, if not outright free of charge. This is why I'm writing letters and talking to people and working a lot of hours for less pay than that of my peers. Because I've seen high school freshmen come in here reading at a third grade level, and they've memorized and performed Shakespearean monologues a year later. Because I cannot bear the thought of another kid like me not getting what I got to have, and what I continue to get to have. Because I know that this can save a life.

lisamcc at 5:00 p.m.



2 comments so far
mumma
2010-12-02 03:01:19
I am so very proud of you...you are so gifted in so many ways. Your words should be put up on billboard. The arts, literature...these things define us and have for centuries. The lack of appreciation for what they can offer our children is tragic.
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PK
2010-12-03 20:49:29
This is right fucking on. And word to yo' mamma!
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