2009-04-25

Paying it forward.

I got an opportunity to "pay it forward" this morning, after so many people reached out to me when I was so scared and sad.

A very good friend of mine is dealing with an addicted partner. In all the years I've known him, I've never seen him as beaten down as he was this morning. And I sat on the sidewalk with him for 45 minutes and just listened to all the fear, anger and misery pouring out of him.

I've been on both sides of that particular fence, you see. I've been the one that wants so desperately for LOVE to be able to "cure" someone who simply doesn't want to be cured. But I've also been the active addict, the one that is very much aware that there's a problem, but still somehow believes that the right person, or the right set of circumstances, will solve everything. You take from that person, and you take and you take and you take. And when you rely on externals like that, you will never get well.

And so I told him that. I told him that at a certain point, he has to realize that he's making himself sick. There are people in this world that simply aren't good for you. This is not to say they're BAD people. Sometimes they're just sick. Sometimes they just trigger things within you that bring you nowhere near where you need to be, emotionally and/or spiritually. I've had to learn this the hard way, myself.

You can love someone and still know that you just can't be with him.

My heart breaks for my friend. He has such a hard road ahead of him. But he needed to know that he doesn't have to do it alone. I told him that he could call me, no matter what time. And I meant it. Because I knew how much it meant to me.

lisamcc at 5:35 p.m.

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