2009-04-08

Headbutts

For the past few mornings, Foot Foot has been coming into my room (I'm starting to adjust to the whole my room/his room thing) while I'm on the computer checking email, thanking people, looking at apartment listings, thanking people. She jumps into my lap, puts her paws on my chest and headbutts my chin. She buries her face in the sleeve of my bathrobe. And I cuddle her and kiss on her and tell her what a nice, pretty girl she is.

Man, I could use some of that, too, really. Except maybe not so much with the headbutting.

I need to make it clear to folks that Kevin is hurting, too. Nobody is ever exactly psyched to end a relationship. And what we are trying to do is make a healthy transition. I can't stress enough how important it is to me -- to both of us, really, but it's REALLY important to ME -- that people try not to view this as a good guy/bad guy situation. Because we have shared our lives with so many wonderful people, friends and family both. We're losing enough already as it is.

It broke. We can't fix it. It's sad for us both. We need to be friends, and to be friendly. I need to live in and through my feelings, and in forgiveness and compassion.

Okay?

I am oddly calm today. But I wait, white-knuckled, for the next wave of grief or terror that's going to send me into an empty office with my cellphone. Mostly I am still in need of reassurance that everything that I'm feeling is "normal." Mostly I just need to hear, when I say that I'm sad, is: "I know. It's okay." And, you know, what a nice and pretty girl I am.

lisamcc at 11:16 a.m.

5 comments so far
Aunt Connie
2009-04-08 19:22:58
Lisa: Your Mom called and told me about you and Kevin. I'm so far away and I can't reach out and give you a big hug. If there is anything I can do, anything at all, please let me know. If you need to vent in an e-mail try [email protected]. You'll run a gamut of emotions and don't let anyone talk you out of your feelings. I know you are scared but I also know you are stronger than you think. I promise to stay in touch.
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Toddlington
2009-04-08 19:59:46
I ratify that you're a nice, pretty lady. For ten years now (!!!) you've sorta been the litmus of What's Cool for me. I don't mean that in an empty high school kind of way, but if I were even in question over whether something dubious had or lacked style, I'd just pull a What Would Lisa Think move and there's the answer. Style. There's the word. There's the rub. No matter what dreadful emotions come trotting along in the nigh future, no way you gonna lose your STYLE, biotch!
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Spooney
2009-04-08 20:45:22
You know headbutting is a cat's one true display of affection. So embrace those crazy headbutts!
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Tina
2009-04-08 22:57:56
My kids will kick the shit out of you on Easter Sunday. And I'll be there to protect you... and tell you how pretty you are... and how your hair looks fantastic...
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PK
2009-04-09 09:05:39
and your pretty ASS is MINE the week I'm here. Your hair does rawk, fo sho. We two muthafuckin crazy redhead beetchiz. And we'll go out and get merkins so the curtains match the rugs.
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