2009-03-17

The Gift

A show like last weekend's (Throwing Muses/50 Foot Wave) is a bit like Old Home Week. You see a lot of people you used to hang out with (or, rather, the people you used to scream at over the music) and you also see a lot of people that you recognize, but can't for the life of you remember their names. For years, there was a gentleman that would invariably appear at every show I was at that I referred to as "Spalding Gray Guy," because of his more-than-passing-resemblance to the mentor to many, myself included. Sure enough, there he was. And I suddenly remembered the night back in '98 or so, when I drunkenly decided to approach him and inform him of his famous doppelganger. On that night, I lurched through the crowd and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Hhhhhheeyyy," I shrieked over the din.
"Oh...hi."
"I bin wantin' to tell you zhish fer YEARS, dude....you look ZACTLY like SHPALDING GRAY!"
"Oh, well....thanks?"
"ZACTLY dude."
After an uncomfortable silence, I probably went somewhere and threw up.

Fast forward to 2009. I'm standing there with my Diet Coke and cringing.

There was another group of people I vaguely recognized. One woman was speaking excitedly....she was psyched to be here. Loved the Muses. Saw them in '86...at TT's maybe? I smiled.

But later that night, maybe 15 minutes into the Muses' set, I saw her friends carrying her out.

I had, for a moment, that supremely icky feeling of superiority. Even when I WAS drinking, I was never the one that had to be carried out. And then the collective voice of my sober network kicked in, and I remembered that while I maybe never had to be carried out of a bar, I WAS the one who would get pissed off at some imagined slight, and storm out. I can't tell you how many times I put myself in a real bad situation like that -- alone, drunk, and tearily angry at 1 o'clock in the morning.

Just because you can hold your liquor doesn't mean you can necessarily carry YOURSELF with any kind of dignity.

And then I felt bad for her. She was obviously a fan, and wouldn't remember any of the show, the way Kristin can just tear your heart out and set it ablaze.

I try not to forget that what I have is a gift.

lisamcc at 5:13 p.m.

1 comments so far
Toddlington
2009-03-18 00:13:46
Green with envy. Moss, phlegm green. Appropriate for St. Pat's, perhaps. But why won't Kristin come down to New Orleans? I have 50 Foot Wave pretty much permanently installed in my car's CD player. Loved T.M. since the 80s. Formed my entire college experience, that girl did, and never fell into the "dated" bin of music that doesn't hold up through the decades. Simply green, dahlink.
-------------------------------

previous | next