2009-01-07

ROFLBUS

So I of course tuned into the televised trainwreck known as "Rock of Love Bus" the other night. Of course I did. I love nothing better than to sit in supreme ultimate judgment high atop my living room sofa, cookies in hand, hurling invective at "reality programming."

The "Rock of Love" franchise is a particular favorite of mine. I'm baffled to the point of stupefaction as to why any woman with an IQ higher than her bra size would consider Bret Michaels to be a fine catch. It makes you wonder, y'know, if these broads are in it just to be on television, or if they truly are -- as many of them repeatedly screech -- there "for Bret."

This season delivers its usual stable of rode-hard-and-put-away-wet fillies. Only this time these blushing blossoms are put on buses and sent out on the road WITH Bret as he slaves away on the state-fair-and-midsize-club circuit.

I predict that those buses are going to smell like spoiled seafood salad and Aquanet by the end of the series.

(Oh yes I did. I totally just said that.)

I'll go further and predict that there will be at least one drink hurled at one skank or another every other episode. There will also be the yanking of some janky-ass weaves, and several cries of "I'M HERE FOR BRET!!!"

Me, I'm not here for Bret at all. I'm here for the bitches.

lisamcc at 9:04 p.m.

9 comments so far
vikkitikkitavi
2009-01-08 02:28:36
You'd think that with the success of the show, that Bret's wigs would be getting better, not worse.
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LisaMcC
2009-01-08 02:44:24
It's true. He's sporting Barbie hair this season.
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Houseboy
2009-01-08 03:02:22
Wait, that's his hair? I thought the chick behind him had her weave thrown over his shoulder.
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Spooney
2009-01-08 16:39:32
I'm sorry, but that thing in the lower right (in white) with the baloons on it's chest is a man. Those have to be the most ridiculous boobs I've ever seen!
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grooeva
2009-01-08 17:03:11
I tell you if the Center for Disease Control wants to do something meaningful it'll quarantine these buses. I didn't watch the show but looking at this picture I feel confident in the assertion.
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voodoo
2009-01-08 18:10:18
Is the one in the bandanna not a woman?!
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kellie
2009-01-08 22:46:54
Bret is wearing the same frosted pink lip gloss I had in 1979 - nice Restalyn. You just KNOW Heather will show up mid-season to see who is really "There. For. Bret."
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Mike Burchett
2009-01-08 23:25:35
Jesus, he looks like a transvestite impersonating Paula Abdul. Or a subject on a low budget pilot for "I Want A Famous Face." You can't fix stupid. But apparently you can load him up with enough colagen, lipgloss and fake checkbones so that a drunk, sad and confused Axl Rose might try and fuck him. Shudder
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Jess
2009-01-10 03:51:54
I predict he'll "end up" with either the tomboy w/ the "bad shoes" or the hot 40 year old with the nice abs.
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