2008-11-17

A Place For Celebrities.

So, by now you all know how I feel about the MySpace, but I will say that it does offer one thing: "celebrity blogs."

If you're a celebrity in this day and age, you: A) are possessed of an inflated sense of self-importance, B) are not especially bright but, C) believe that what you have to say is of paramount importance, and finally, D) have absolutely no fucking taste.

(Now, I am at least three-out-of-four here, but I'm not famous. Go figure.)

This is why the MySpace Blog is the PERFECT emotional vomitorium for the celebrity. Here you can bewail the perils and problems of being famous, curse the lack of respect for you and your privacy, and spew about topics various and sundry of which you know NOTHING. Then you can tell everyone how you're feeling by sticking a little SMILEY FACE on it, and wait for the plebian comments to come pouring in:

OMG this is a good post! i feel sooooo bad 4 u! ur my favorit.be stong and no that peepl LUV U SO MUCH. comment back plz OK? *~*ange*~*

Because when the red carpet has been rolled up, and you're behind closed doors in the privacy of your Bel Air manse, you're really all that you have in the wee, tender hours of the morning, and that's not acceptable. Thank God for teh internets.

Celebrity DJ and Lohan consort Samantha Ronson writes:

today I'm pissed at the bag of flour thrown on Lindsay last night.

As well you should be! Who does that bag of flour think it is?

I would have more respect for (PETA) if they didn't use other people to get their point across.

Conversely, SamRo, there are some people who would have more respect for celebrities if they didn't use skinned animals to make themselves feel more attractive. You know -- like your girlfriend does.

i think there are plenty of families that could have used that flour for a meal. nice job, lady.

I don't even know where to start with that one, so I'm just not even going to bother.

But Samantha's angrrrry rant at that bag of flour reads like the Magna Carta when held up against the pharmaceutical meanderings of Courtney Love:

i think my space is best used for promoting great music such as the jukeboxes and great indie and not so indie designers and ideas and stuff that i find out there thats cool to look at aspire to or just get made , like on etsy. so are we all calm now? its not like i "hate you and am never speaking to you again" because we all make mistakes but you cant involve the child and its wrong of you to state something as fact you know is an untruth, that is not the M i know and like, so can we please apologise and move onward because i dont like being angry or resentful, i have a record to make and thats really all i have to do , what iw ear in my press matters and finding a great partner and illustrator matters but otherwise i realy havent got any business trying to be slick witha computer as i cant even cut and paste@!

Exactly.

And then, several dozen rungs down the ladder, we have the ponderings of the reality show circuit. Remember "Rock of Love 2" winner Ambre Lake? Things didn't work out real well there.

Bret will always have a piece of my heart. We do still hang out and we do still talk, I love and wholeheartedly support him in every decision he makes. Therefore, as he ventures on to this new stage in his life, I support him. I will remain strong for him...He was placed in my life for a reason and will always remain in my life for many more substantial reasons.

Aw.

But, for now, Bret is doing ROL Bus and I completely support that.

He's doing the bus, all right, and probably a couple of the catering staff, too, is my guess. It's good ur so supportive tho...U ROCK AMBREEEE!1!!

OK, I realize that I, too, am an asshole with a blog. In the 9+ years I've maintained this joint, I've barfed up more than my fair share of Stuff You Probably Didn't Need To Know. But I'd also like to think that some of what I write is -- I don't know -- INTERESTING, and not because it sounds like I've been nursing a vodka-and-Xanax smoothie after a long day of buying purses and flashing my whisker biscuit to the paps.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a date with a bag of flour...

lisamcc at 5:13 p.m.

3 comments so far
Kaire
2008-11-18 13:27:16
Yep, I can't count how many times I've said "hon, what do you want for dinner tonight?" and he says "a bag of flour would make an excellent meal!" They should have thrown a brick.
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Lexi
2008-11-20 06:39:06
Whisker biscuit. Made my week.
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vikkitikkitavi
2008-11-21 23:27:54
Nursing a vodka-and-Xanax smoothie after a long day of buying purses and flashing my whisker biscuit to the paps sounds like my idea of heaven!
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