2008-10-16

Oooo, dat's SCARY!

Halloween is approaching, and I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do about it. Living as I do now in a semi-industrial/semi-artist-lofty neighborhood, there's a paucity of little kids in impossibly cute costumes. And we all know what happened last year when Mish and I gave Spooky World the ol' college try. Me, Mish and Laura have spoken about possibly doing the "Ghosts and Gravestones" trolley tour, but I'm apprehensive about spending a whole bunch of money on something that will wind up being LAME again. It would take something quite lame indeed to top the lameness of Spooky World, but I just don't know if I want to take that leap of faith.

But I still love Halloween. I'm still semi-seriously considering showing up to work dressed as Angus Young, even though fully three-quarters of the administrative staff will have NO IDEA who I'm dressed as (now, the production staff, they'll think it's hilarious). I love "fun-sized" candy; I love stupid, scary movies. I love being scared in general, and boy howdy, if these days aren't a scare junkie's wet dream, I don't what is.

Besides the obvious (our spastic and asthmatic stock market, the McCain/Palin ticket, and the very thought of Madonna bumping uglies with A-Rod), there are many things these days that are vewy, vewy scawy. I thought I'd dedicate the next few entries to the Things That Scare Me. Today's Scary Thing:

My friend Nick and I are obsessed with Tabatha's Salon Takeover, in which superstar stylist and frightening bitch kitty Tabatha Coffey is sent to some struggling salon, spends a week making all of the stylists cry, and then flounces out having taught them how to do a blunt-cut and to clean up their stations in between clients.

She's SCARY, Tabatha Coffey. I can't decide whether I'd want her to cut my hair or not. Maybe she's nicer to you if you're in the chair. I don't know. I would kind of hope that she'd berate you for your split ends before turning you into a perfectly-coiffed sex goddess. "Your HEH is DIZ-gustink!" she would bark, before dragging me to the sink and pummeling my scalp within an inch of its life with placenta-laden conditioner, whether I wanted the placenta or not. But then she would bring me an espresso. Because evidently that's what good stylists do.

So basically, Tabatha's the Gordon Ramsay of hair, but while Gordon stomps around and cusses like the former soccer hooligan that he is, Tabatha's like the haughty, frigid office manager you once temped for that made you cry in the bathroom.

Scary!

lisamcc at 8:42 a.m.

3 comments so far
lj lindhurst
2008-10-16 15:53:56
You should dress up as Casey Anthony!
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Rebecca
2008-10-16 17:04:25
For kids (and dogs) in costumes, go to Dunster Rd in JP. It's in the Pondside neighborhood and is a *very* popular destination for trick or treaters.
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vikkitikkitavi
2008-10-16 21:11:14
You know what's scarier than Tabatha Coffey? Her outfit.
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