2008-08-10

In Defense of Blane.

My closet wants cleaning.

I knew it was going to be rainy and crappy this afternoon, and sort of penciled in "closet cleanup," but watching-a-movie-I've-seen-eight-million-times almost always trumps practical, sensible chores.

"Valley of the Dolls" or "Pretty In Pink"?

Both feature screeching heroines (although neither of them get real screechy until the end of their respective films). But am I in the mood for "What about PROM, Blane?!" or this:

Best scene in the whole fucking movie. Hands down. My dying wish would be for Patty Duke to come to my hospital room, and -- after presenting me with a lavish bouquet of anthurium, dendrobium orchids, and birds of paradise (and a giant M&M cookie) -- reenact this very scene. I would hope that she would also wear that kickass fall.

But I'm watching "Pretty In Pink." It's the deluxe anniversary edition...you know, the one that promises the "OTHER ending." Because as everybody knows, in the original ending, Andie ends up with Duckie. I'm just about the only woman on the planet that agrees with the ending as-is. But more on that in a second.

What I want to warn y'all about this edition is that it LIES. It LIES like a RUG. Because what you get is a ten-minute mini-documentary about the original ending, in which everybody talks about the original ending, everybody discusses why the original ending was wrong, but you never actually SEE the original ending.

So, yah - the actual ending. I'm down with it. I'm down with Andie sloppily sucking face with Blaine in the parking lot as the prom rages on in the background. Totally down. There are a number of reasons for this. Of course, there's the official "I think it sends the wrong message that people from opposite sides of the track can't find true love" in regards to the scrapped ending.

More to the point: I'm a dipshit. Andrew McCarthy's DREAMY (this, despite my brother's vicious, SPOT ON imitation of Andrew McCarthy's bug-eyed response to everything in every movie he's ever been in). Yeah, I know -- the bland, sort of dumb guy with bad hair who dumps you in a really chickenshit way and then offers a halfassed apology later about how things were "too intense" for him. Lame. Not that I'd know anything about that.

I'm a chump. I fully expect all the pro-Duckie girls to rake me over the coals on this. Bring it. I still think it's the right ending.

Further, I believe that Blane and Andie stayed together even through college (she goes to Harvard on a full scholarship, he gets accepted to Lehigh because his father donated a huge wad of cash to the business school). She studies art history. He studies....business. Together, they flee to upstate New York and run a small gallery. He overlooks her penchant for nailing kimonos and New Order posters to the walls of their Tudor-style home outside of Rochester. She manages to see past the fact that he still has stupid hair.

True love wins.

lisamcc at 5:02 p.m.

8 comments so far
Houseboy
2008-08-10 22:10:07
Uh-uh. FIve years into their marriage, she's working her ass off at the gallery; he's turned out to be an incompetent boob who spends all his time in the basement on CompuServe trying to play the stock market. On a business trip she runs into Duckie, who is the art director for an indie record label. And has come out of the closet.
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lj lindhurst
2008-08-11 14:45:15
Wow. It's uncanny how you guys have just described the last 20 years of my life to a T! Blane and I are very happy. I now have 3 kimonos and have replaced all the New Order with Portishead posters.
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Jess
2008-08-11 19:33:01
That is one of my FAVORITE scenes in a movie! I just love the narcissism of yelling your own name in an alleyway. I hope to achieve this someday. (I was going to add that Pibb & I ocassionally yell "NEELIE!" for no apparent reason, but you'll probably think that all we do is walk around yelling stuff at the top of our lungs for no reason. And you'd be right, heh. I'm sure our neighbors are REALLY happy we're moving). Also: DUCKY RULZ! BLAINE DROOLZ!
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vikkitikkitavi
2008-08-12 20:51:57
I have to agree with Houseboy. I went out with a Duckie in high school, and we moved in together in college. As soon as he figured out where the gay bars were in that town he fucked some dude, gave me crabs, and dumped my ass BECAUSE HE WAS GAY, and I was the only one in the whole wide world who didn't know it.
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LisaMcC
2008-08-12 21:12:45
God, Vikki. You always have way better stories than I do. Best I got is the guy who stood me up on New Year's and later claimed he fell asleep. That was fucking awesome.

Actually, no. There was also the guy who showed up on my birthday, gave me a card, and then DUMPED ME.

But crabs? No. You win again, my love.
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GBF
2008-08-15 03:17:01
I'll get her to do it. Let me know when you are on your deathbed. GBF in NYC
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GBF
2008-08-15 03:18:28
I'll get her to do it. Let me know when you are on your deathbed. GBF
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Lexi
2008-08-21 04:14:46
I am SO stealing "Pro-Ducky Girl" and making myself a T-shirt.
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