2008-07-16

Love is the drug.

No matter how low I may feel, no matter what sort of scary monsters are peeping around every corner, I know that I can grasp onto something real. There will be no more clutching onto that which turn out to be anvils in the middle of the cold, cold sea. Look! Here's a light bursting through the cracks of my weary, addled spirit:

"Rock of Love 3."

Bret Michaels is heading back to VH1 in hopes that his third search will find him lucky in love.

Poison frontman Michaels has spent two seasons trying to find his soulmate on VH1�s popular series "Rock of Love," and after splitting with Season 2 winner Ambre Lake, he is coming back for a third attempt.

According to VH1, his tour schedule and her work schedule left no time for a relationship.

For Season 3, Michael's tough tour schedule will become a focus as they've christened the new show, "Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels."

Premiering early next year, Season 3 will find Michaels on the bus with his lady suitors. The bus will cross the country, pitting the girls in various challenges to win the rock star�s love.

GOD, where do I sign up?! A bus full of rabid, attention-hungry skanks for however-many-weeks? That ride is going to reek of Salon Selectives, Monistat and Tuna Helper. And if we thought the LAST bunch looked rode hard and put away wet, I can't even imagine what this next cast will be like. Bring on the sun-damaged decolletage and the split ends! Wheeeee!

But let's have a moment of silence for Ambre Lake, "winner" of "Rock of Love 2." She and Bret rilly, RILLY tried to make it work. But the long-distance relationship is a trying one, at best. It takes two strong individuals to withstand those slings and arrows. Sexual needs are not satisfied regularly, a higher degree of trust has to be at the forefront, real-time communication across several time zones is challenging.

And, well, there's also the issue of VH1 dangling another big paycheck in front of you (hey, bandannas are expensive) to find somebody else.

True love is the devil's crowbar, y'all.

lisamcc at 8:54 p.m.

2 comments so far
Veronika
2008-07-17 17:00:06
Okay so I got a little teary eyed because well I loved that older Amber beat out slut whore Daisy...But don't worry about Amber - she has a snazzy webpage http://www.ambrelake.com I think you'll enjoy her photo gallery V
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LisaMcC
2008-07-18 00:24:40
Oh, dear...those photos run the gamut of emotions from A to B.

Worse still is her MySpace page, which looks like a cross between a bordello and the inside of a 13-year-old's locker. Anyone over the age of 12 who writes "Luv u guys!" and "OMG LOL" needs to be full-on smacked in the teeth.
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