2008-02-05
Critical genetic flaw.
Now that the Superbowl is over and done, it's time to reveal my critical genetic flaw:
I don't give a rat's ass about football.
I come from a family where there were just some things that were a given. You say a good Act of Contrition. You vote in every conceivable election. And you watch football. God, country, football. In that order. My brother played football, and later went on to be in charge of regional sports programming for a fairly well-known cable behemoth. My sister was a football cheerleader. My father follows college football with an almost religious fervor. Mom makes a giant pot of chili, and everybody watches the football game.
And I just do. not. care. I tried, once. In high school I was part of the AFS club and part of my duties, as such, was making popcorn to sell at the football games. Mostly, though, I preferred the company of the marching band, and after a couple of games just stopped pretending to give a crap. Here's your popcorn...I'll be in the back reading my comic book.
So my parents have always regarded me as perhaps a mother hen might regard a puppy that has been inserted into her brood. Head cocked, vaguely puzzled. Where did this one come from? Is it ours? It's got the giant forehead. But it doesn't want to watch the playoffs.
I understand the gravity of Sunday night's loss. I can wrap my head around the disappointment. I peeked at the television set now and then, mostly for the commercials. Was anyone else mildly disturbed by the pandas?
I sure as shit was.
At any rate, the only time I am able to discuss ANYTHING with ANY sort of authority, as far as the Superbowl is concerned, is at halftime. I seriously think that I should be a halftime show announcer: "Petty's got the Rickenbacker, and he SWITCHES to the Telecaster! Nice move. You get the brighter sound with the Telecaster. Mike Campbell's on the Duesenberg, which he probably HAS to be playing for at least one song, and -- holy fucking shit -- I don't know WHAT he's playing now because I can't get a look at the headstock. My partner here thinks it's a Danelectro, but I think he's smoking the crack. Can we get an intern to look that up? What the HELL is that?!"
lisamcc at 6:40 p.m.
2 comments so far
Lynette Estes
2008-02-05 20:44:45
Oh honey, I am RIGHT there with you on the rat's ass. Try living in the land of Friday Night Freakin' LIGHTS. Our nightly news usually shows almost 20 minutes of highschool football coverage, 9 minutes of UT football and then a quick blurb that some country or other fell into the ocean. Frickin' football dreamers and pageant moms. What the HELL have I done?!
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Spooney
2008-02-06 14:40:37
I'm a guy & I never cared about football. We used to have big superbowl get togethers with the whole family, it was like a holiday. My mom would make a big dinner & everything. I used to hang out in the kitchen with the women. My brother used to say to me "you don't watch football & you don't eat meat, what are ya... a fag?" He was always just joking, of course.
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