2007-09-13

Birfday

My birthday is tomorrow

37. Fuck. What kind of age is that? I'm now in my late thirties. There's no getting around it. My shrink tells me, "But you don't look 37. Considering how much you used to drink, you really do look fabulous." Isn't he a doll? I'm going to keep him. I mean, I'm not paying him to butter me up like a warm strawberry scone. And he doesn't. Most of the time, he listens to me go off about something, then smirks and says, "You are SUCH an alcoholic, Lees." This is exactly what I need to hear.

Yesterday morning I left my appointment with my weighty assignment ("Do something practical -- and stop mistaking pity for love."), and hopped the bus into work. A few minutes into my ride, I became aware of a group of chipper Conservatory students, prattling happily about their new apartments, classes, and projects. So young. So full of energy and promise. Fucking little whelps.

One of them, a dewy ingenue-type with a lustrous mane of honey-blonde hair, was waxing effusive about a role she'd accepted in an upcoming opera. "It's so DARK," she squealed, "There's this guy in it, right? He's sort of...retarded...and he likes SOFT THINGS, so he pets mice but he's really big and strong so he winds up killing them?"
"Ew."
"So MY part, I'm like, 'My HAIR is REALLY SOFT! Do you wanna TOUCH IT?' So he does, right, but he gets all carried away so I FREAK OUT and he FREAKS OUT and then he ends up BREAKING MY NECK, and then he buries me in a HAYSTACK."
"OhmiGOD."
"I KNOW, right?" She beamed. "It's awesome!"

Okay. Now, you and I know this story. Why do we know this story? Because we were made to read it in junior high school. What made this conversation so amusing and yet so horrifying is the fact that as this girl was describing the tale, her friends reacted as if they'd NEVER HEARD OF IT BEFORE. And that's because they hadn't.

How does one go through secondary education WITHOUT reading Of Mice And Men? I mean, that's standard, is it not? Am I wrong? Here were four college students, presumably hailing from different points of origin, who'd clearly never read it.

My sister and I went to a high school which, while problematic for us in a decidedly John Hughes-ian sense, did boast an outstanding English department. Really one of the best in the state. As much as I lightheartedly-yet-quite-sincerely disparage the place, I will always speak highly of my English teachers and of the required reading, which went way above and beyond the Holy Trinity of Steinbeck/McCullers/Lee. I was 16 when I fell wildly in love with Flannery O'Connor, and my English teacher at the time -- Chuck Ozug -- encouraged me not only to read all of her work, but pushed me on towards Capote, Agee, and Faulkner. I cannot possibly overstate my indebtedness to the man for that.

I have to wonder if kids are still being assigned "A Good Man Is Hard To Find," to say nothing of then being steered to read "Greenleaf" independently. Because if school systems are balking at assigning Steinbeck, I can't imagine that the teachers are being allowed to cover, say, "Hills Like White Elephants" or even "A Modest Proposal" -- vital works that introduce the arguably critical concepts of symbolism and irony to young readers. It's a shame.

lisamcc at 11:45 a.m.

3 comments so far
LJ lindhurst
2007-09-14 10:29:34
The other day I was at the bookstore, and two very hipsterish-looking skinny/pale white dudes were having a discussion about Flannery O'Connor (whom I also love). They were talking about the book, "The Artificial Nigger"--only they would NOT say the title, they kept going, "The Artificial Mmm-mm" every time they mentioned it... Idiots.
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vikkitikkitavi
2007-09-14 11:07:07
Of course we all think that the works of literature that WE read in school were essential, and how can kids not be forced to read them anymore? Although they must be forced to read something, right? I wonder what it is. The Princess Diaries? I was going to tell you my most memorable early literary influence, but I don't think I have to, seeing as how my screen name pretty much gives it away.
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Jerry
2007-09-21 12:27:42
"How does one go through secondary education WITHOUT reading Of Mice And Men?" In the middle of the year my elderly English teacher got sick or something, so we all got shoehorned into other classes. And it seems that, while certain works are required to be taught in certain years, the order in which they are taught is up to the teacher. So I missed out on "Of Mice and Men" and "Mill On the Floss" and got a double dose of "Wuthering Heights". Blech.
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