2007-08-29

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This is a piggy bank.  Effective September 2, 2007, all loose change that I acquire will be stored in this bank, until we move again.  I will not be allowed to bust into this bank for ANY REASON -- even if it's 3 days until I get paid and I am dying for a pizza, even if I see some ridiculous motorized gadget at Sharper Image that I just HAVE to have, even if I am hit by a bus and require costly cosmetic surgery on my ASS -- because this money is going to be used to HIRE MOVERS.

Although, it may not be necessary to scrimp and save in such a manner, since I think I have found a way to become fabulously wealthy by taking advantage of my dubious talents.  I'm going to start a TABLOID. 

Taking a cue from the current magazines at the checkout, my tabloid will closely follow the lives of the rich-n-stupid, only more so: 

Pregnant...Or Just Fat?
Close up shots of female celebrity midriffs which are not concave, with 
an option for the reader to vote:  Pregnant...or JUST FAT?
Wastebaskets of the Famous!
My crack team of "journalists" will bring you the most 
scintillating wastebasket contents every week.  Wondering 
which star battles with gingivitis?  We've got the 
blood-soaked floss right here!
Courtdoku!
Tired of the same ol' puzzles?  Each week, 
we'll print selections from Courtney Love's MySpace 
Blog for you to decipher.  More challenging than 
sudoku, and a legitimate word scramble to boot!  
Try it now:
and due to vchanting and my Biddhist opracticde 
and my wonder woman energy muse jewelry and 
my magical young living oils wich ZArew fairly 
nonsensicla but people sewear theyve cuyred 
cancer with Young Living and if crytsals do 
have prote tivce power... 
See?  Puzzling!
 
Really.  I would totally give you your 2 dollars' worth.
 
lisamcc at 1:25 p.m.



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