2007-07-31

The things you find...

Here's a tip: don't schedule your pelvic exam/pap smear first thing in the morning. It wakes you up, all right, boy howdy. I felt like a cracked-open lobster claw all day.

I have a new gynecologist. He's an excruciatingly mild and polite Chinese gentleman -- as opposed to my hardened, gruff, no-nonsense Russian primary care physician. I can't wait to see who I'm gonna get for my mammogram.

After that bit of unpleasantness, I headed down the street to the "Busy Bee" diner. Holy shit I love this place. I could've stayed there all day, listening to the waitresses and the owner and the regulars berate one another. Fucking awesome. I may have to go there tomorrow morning, too, even though I don't have a doctor's appointment. Hell -- I can make something up. *Cough, cough.*

I went to Chinatown and bought five yards of upholstery and made a headboard cover for our bed. It looks pretty good. Then I refinished one of the bookshelves. It's only Tuesday. No, I am not taking speed.

Last night, I packed up a bunch of my journals. I have journals going all the way back to junior high school. Each one of them makes me cringe. But I flipped open one of them from 2001, and found the one and only song I wrote for the Sub Pars, which was the band I was in -- with PK and Bo Barringer -- for about five minutes. Understand that A) I am not a songwriter, and B) at this point I was pretty much always drunk. With that caveat in place, I give you "He's Not Gay - He Just Doesn't Like You."

You say he's "light in the loafers" -
You pull out every cheap cliche
Because the reason he won't fuck you
Surely must be that he's GAY

It's those ringer-wearing corduboys
That drive him into fits
That has to be the reason
Why he won't stare at your tits

CHORUS:
He's not gay - he just doesn't like you
The rainbow flags are only in your head
He's not gay - he just doesn't like you
And that's the only reason
You can't get him into bed

He's looking cool and dressing sharp
You say that's all it takes
But wingtips and a well-pressed shirt
Does not a fairy make

CHORUS


I was the Neal Fuckin' Peart of the Sub Pars, for real.

I told PK we totally have to have a "reunion" show.

lisamcc at 4:59 p.m.



1 comments so far
Jocelyn
2007-07-31 17:45:08
Dude! You were "he's just not into you" before there was that piece of crap book!
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