2007-07-20

I have issues

My gay boyfriend John Michael is going away on vacation for TWO WEEKS.� This is a terrible thing for him to do and I am never going to forgive him.

Today I stood in the doorway of his office and whimpered.

"What's wrong, Pookie?"
"I don't want you to go on vacation."
"It's summertime, sweetie; that's when people GO on vacation."
"I know...but, but...it's just that you're going to be gone for SO LONG and I won't have nobody to TALK TO."
"There are lots of people you can talk to here."
"It's not the same,"� I continued to hover in the doorway, staring down at my feet as I made vague circular patterns in the carpet with my toes, "I'm going to miss you."
"Aw, bunny.� I'll miss you, too.� You can always come in here and sniff the seat of my chair when you get too lonely."

Actually, there's one reason and one reason alone that I could forgive him for going away for two weeks, and that's the fact that one of those weeks is going to spent in the company of his aunt.� His aunt, you see, is FAMOUS.� Maybe not famous in the Angelina/Britney/Posh-n-Becks sense of the word, but if I mentioned her name you would probably know exactly who I was talking about, unless you're 12 years old or have been living under a rock.� And as far as I'm concerned, there is no greater or more luminous�star in the heavens than John Michael's aunt.�

(John Michael was my gay boyfriend even before he told me about this, lest any of you think I'm a fame hag in addition to being a fruit fly.)

"You know, I COULD forgive you if you brought me back a PRESENT.� You know, like a...a...SNOW GLOBE, or...um...somethingfromyouraunt'shouse..."
"What?!� NO."

Hey, a girl can TRY.

lisamcc at 3:07 p.m.

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