2007-07-12

The Thing (because I am very disturbed young woman)

For the past several years, I've been involved in a ghoul pool known by its participants as simply�"The Thing."� Ad Frank invited me to join.�

It's pretty straightforward stuff -- you pick the ten "celebrities" you think are going to kick it over the course of the year, you get a "bonus" pick of someone under the age of 50,�you pitch in ten bucks, and then you become very, very unhealthily�obsessed with the obituary columns.� The person with the most stiffs by the end of December wins the kitty, UNLESS somebody's "bonus pick" up and dies, in which case the kitty is split.

In recent years, there's been a fair amount of controversy amongst us Thingees.� You know, like, is John Kenneth Galbraith a "celebrity"?� If your bonus pick, while under the age of 50, is someone who ardently courts the Reaper to the point where his or her death within the next year is a near-certainty, is that fair?� I mean, just this year somebody picked Anna Nicole Smith, guaranteeing that the person with the most dead celebrities come December isn't going to take home nearly as much cash.� And the year before, Ad Frank's mom picked Steve Irwin.� It's all made for some fascinating email exchanges.

Sometimes I am very conflicted about it all.� I put Studs Terkel on my list this year and almost instantly felt like shit for doing so.� For the last couple of years I've also had Elizabeth Taylor on the list, and each January when I email�my list to�The Thing's coordinator, I say:� "This is Liz's YEAR, man!� This is the year!"�

And then last night, I found out that Ladybird Johnson passed away.� She's pretty much been on everyone's list since The Thing's inception.� I got into work this morning, and two of my coworkers immediately asked if I'd "had her."� Because they all know about The Thing, and they're all kind of fascinated by it, although none of them seem to want to go there themselves by joining in.� I sat at my desk and lamented the fact that I wasn't doing so well in terms of the body count this year, as my coworkers tittered nervously.� I mentioned Mrs. Frank's coup last year, and before I knew what I was doing, I said it:� "Maybe I ought to put Bindi Irwin on my list next year."

"Lees.� You DID NOT just say that."

"Jesus Christ, Lisa."

I know.� I'm totally going to hell.

lisamcc at 8:00 p.m.

2 comments so far
Houseboy
2007-07-12 21:46:18
This "Thing" isn't like Fight Club, is it? Ad Frank isn't going to show up here wanting to kick your ass just for talking about it, right? 'Cause I've seen Ad Frank pissed, and it ain't pretty (but I'm pretty sure you could take him in a no-holds-barred throw-down).
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Albert
2007-07-13 07:51:08
OK, I know I've got to be wrong but you made me smile with this ghoulish game! good luck!
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