2005-01-29

Blizz-ahd

So, in case you haven't been following the weather up here in the Birthplace of Beans, we got clobbered by a blizzard last weekend, which effectively rendered us stuck in the house from Saturday afternoon to around Monday, mid-morning. All told, with the drifting, we got at least 2 1/2 feet.

There's something about a blizzard that kickstarts this bizarre need to eat, often and everything in sight. I seriously eat like a stoned, pregnant woman with a hyperthyroid condition. I ate an entire package of Stella D'Oro Roman Egg Biscuits, 2 or 3 oranges, a bag of baby spinach doused in Balsamic vinaigrette, several BALANCE bars, veggie burgers smothered in salsa, and a bowl of almonds mixed with semisweet chocolate chips. And that's just what I remember eating. I'm sure there was more.

I'm sure this is some animal instinct, similar to that of a squirrel. Which reminds me -- I called this epic, shitty winter, chickens. I called it MONTHS ago, when I noticed how frigging fat the squirrels were around Jamaica Pond. Fat as PIGS, those squirrels were. I said to everyone -- I said: "LOOK at the fucking SQUIRRELS. This winter is going to SUCK EGGS."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"They're LOADING UP. They're PACKING IT ON. They're like Renee Zellweger 8 weeks before the next 'Bridget Jones' shoot. THEY KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T, and that's that this winter is going to SUCK BALLS."

"You said 'eggs.'"

"Eggs...balls...I'm telling you: mark my words."

And now -- now we've got another 8 inches on top of the snow we got last weekend, and the temperature isn't going to get much above freezing for a good, long while, which means we're stuck with increasingly gronky, grotty, dog-pee-and-cigarette-butt-encrusted snow piles until April. At least.

Squirrels. They know what's up.

lisamcc at 8:05 p.m.

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