2003-06-13
Immature.
THE SETUP: Okay, so Declan went and got himself a webcam this week, and it's perversely watchable. Yesterday I sat there at my desk and watched him eat crackers for, like, 15 minutes. Didn't IM him, didn't engage in any kind of online interaction....just watched him eat crackers.
This morning, Dec invited me to a nice little morning chat with Shari. What follows is the transcription. Bear in mind that this is a conversation between three "professional" adults in their 30's. Read on, chickens, and -- if you're not completely horrified -- please take a moment to engage in a happy little poll I've created for your enjoyment.
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You are now logged into voice conference
smarmy_kitten has joined the conference.
smarmy_kitten: my lovahh's skin is anointed with the smell of roasting pork loin
necro_wafer: I fucking hate that word. "This is my lovahhhh....we make looooooove."
declanbuck: looooooooooooooooooooooooove
declanbuck: blushes
declanbuck: stands up and applauds
declanbuck: cheers
declanbuck: *poops*
smarmy_kitten: hey, how come you guys have little headphones on yer thingys
necro_wafer: You're supposed to be able to actually speak and hear if you've got a mic set up.
smarmy_kitten: hear what?
declanbuck: farts
declanbuck: n' stuff
necro_wafer: You're NASTY
smarmy_kitten: i like to fart
declanbuck: hehe
declanbuck: LOOK! (holds up picture of Barry Gibb to webcam)
necro_wafer: Chest Hair!!!!
smarmy_kitten: mmmm, Barry in the mornin'
necro_wafer: I'd floss my teeth with that chest rug. GRRRRR!
declanbuck: imagine what his arse looks like?
smarmy_kitten: that's vile
necro_wafer: That always makes Declan laugh.
declanbuck: I wonder if his poo gets stuck?
necro_wafer: He gets dingleberries and buttjoints, sure.
declanbuck: YUCK
declanbuck: NASTY!
necro_wafer: You know what a buttjoint is, yes?
smarmy_kitten: is there such a thing as a chestleberry?
declanbuck: no.
necro_wafer: It's when you get those bits of toilet paper stuck in your arse and they're kinda rolled up and twisty like little joints.
smarmy_kitten: ha!
necro_wafer: BUTTJOINTS!
declanbuck: that's fuckin' gross.
necro_wafer: Pffft...you love it.
declanbuck: ick (dons creepy clear plastic mask, mugs for webcam)
necro_wafer: Scary Declan!
necro_wafer: He put that on so we can't tell that he's really laughing about the buttjoints.
necro_wafer: Jesus Christ, Declan.
smarmy_kitten: buttjoint - never not funny
declanbuck: hehe
declanbuck: scary as fuck this mask
declanbuck: I wanna get naked and go into the over-60's chatrooms...scare a few old birds
necro_wafer: Do it!
smarmy_kitten: please do it!
smarmy_kitten: and let us in!
necro_wafer: Ha -- the Geritol/Senekot crowd will love Declan's ass.
declanbuck: hehe
declanbuck: I watched a 50 year fiddle with her na-na last night...quite rude actually.
smarmy_kitten: get outta here!
necro_wafer: Declan. Dude. You have way too much free time.
necro_wafer: Uh oh. He went away. That doesn't bode well.
smarmy_kitten: He can't stay away for long
declanbuck: i wen tinkle
necro_wafer: Everything come out okay?
declanbuck: yes thanks
necro_wafer: No burning, no discharge?
smarmy_kitten: Cloudy? Stinky?
declanbuck: cloudy
necro_wafer: Did it ming like asparagus?
Yahoo! Messenger: steffib33 has joined the conference.
declanbuck: minged like dunno ...smell my fingers (sticks finger in webcam)
necro_wafer: NASTY!
smarmy_kitten: ew
smarmy_kitten: hi stephie pie!
declanbuck: steph
steffib33: um, hi guys. Whacha talkin about
necro_wafer: Is that a buttjoint under your fingernail?
smarmy_kitten: pee
declanbuck: poo & pee
declanbuck: and mongs and monkeys
steffib33: oh yeah. poo and pee
smarmy_kitten: It's a standard
necro_wafer: We're in touch with our inner 9-year-olds
steffib33: found mouse poo on my desk this morning
smarmy_kitten: really?
necro_wafer: Gross!
declanbuck: eat it
smarmy_kitten: dec, you're freaking me out, man
declanbuck: steph look at the camera
necro_wafer: They look like capers. Put 'em on your salad.
steffib33: the mouse poo isn't as gross as that freakin mask
steffib33: Mmm, i bet they are kinda briny
smarmy_kitten: mmmmm....mouse poo salad
necro_wafer: Protein. Good for you.
smarmy_kitten: what the hell? (Dec, in mask, begins dancing around room)
smarmy_kitten: is he dancing?
necro_wafer: Declan. You are seriously fucked up.
smarmy_kitten: that is some scary ass shit
necro_wafer: Give the boy a webcam and he goes apeshit.
steffib33: you guys are too entertaining. I gotta go.
Yahoo! Messenger: steffib33 has left the conference. (Dec holds bewildered-looking cat up to webcam)
necro_wafer: Dec's showing his pussy!
smarmy_kitten: Ha!
smarmy_kitten: Dec's got a fat white pussy
declanbuck: oohg that was weird
necro_wafer: Yeah, what the FUCK, Declan?
declanbuck: sorry...I was dancing..
necro_wafer: Please tell me you're listening to something in the background
smarmy_kitten: Dancing......in a mask........at 10:30 am.........on a webcam..........
declanbuck: Yes virginradio.co.uk
declanbuck: ewww...Danny Bonadouchebag is on telly
necro_wafer: He's gross.
smarmy_kitten: Yeah, not much right with that
declanbuck: he could be yer twin lisa...
declanbuck: screams in a mad fit
necro_wafer: You cock! No way!
smarmy_kitten: whoa
declanbuck: hehehehe
smarmy_kitten: that was just plain evil, man
declanbuck: busts a move (dances around the room again)
necro_wafer: Dec, have you been stealing Ritalin from the kiddies again?
declanbuck: heeeee
smarmy_kitten: Okay kids, I gotta go take care of business. I'll check in with you two later.
declanbuck: she has to poo
smarmy_kitten: I wish!
necro_wafer: Save the buttjoints!
smarmy_kitten: I'll send 'em to you with love!
necro_wafer: Yeah, I gotta do some fucking work here.
declanbuck: I better go too ...start working!
smarmy_kitten: b'bye!
smarmy_kitten has left the conference.
declanbuck has left the conference.
(6/13/2003 10:34 AM)
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lisamcc at 1:19 p.m.
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