2000-12-12

Broadway!!!

Let's make fun of stupid people! Yay!

To preface � In the past couple of weeks or so, the Boston Rock Opera's message board has been invaded by a handful of disgruntled muffins who, for whatever reason, have taken it upon themselves to let us know just how awful our production of Jesus Christ Superstar was.

After going a fairly long time without commenting, I finally blew up yesterday, posting what I thought was a pretty firm-yet-polite rebuttal. I hit "post message," and then I thought, "Why the fuck am I even bothering with these people?" Why try and be polite to people who just flat-out enjoy being shallow and childish?

I'm so glad I have this diary. It allows me to be immature in kind without clogging up someone else's guestbook.

Folks such as these malcontents have absolutely no understanding of anything other than what's on Broadway. Try to explain to them that the average working stage actor in this country spends more time on the road, living out of a suitcase while bouncing from resident theatre to resident theatre, than he or she does on Broadway and I suspect their eyes would roll back in their heads. They just don't get it, nor do I think they want to. They are perfectly content to have no other frame of reference when they attend a performance, and should it fall short of their inflated ideals, they huff and puff, posting message after message about how terrible we are for deigning to cast anyone other than Glenn Carter or Steve Balsamo as the King of Kings. Take Linda, for example:

The entire case (sic) except for Pilate and the woman who played Simon and Gary Cherone -- sometimes -- completely ruined the show for me. JCS is my favorite show and although I saw it twice on Broadway I did not compare it to those performances because I realize BRO folks had a different concept going in.... I'm sorry if you don'tt (sic) agree and I'm sorry if you guys at the BRO can't handle someone not liking you. But that's show biz

Isn't she cute? One pictures Linda in her tony suburban bedroom, surrounded by porcelain comedy/tragedy masks, drumming her freshly-varnished nails on the keyboard and thinking to herself, "Should I mention that I've seen it twice on Broadway?" And my goodness � we completely ruined the show for her? What is she going to do with all the ticket stubs, Playbills, and collector's item souvenir programs she's undoubtedly accumulated from the two times she's seen it on Broadway?

And just in case we didn't get the point about our being vastly inferior to that production, we have this tidbit from Gibson:

I went to see the show on Broadway its closing day and this looked like a rip-off of that production except for a few things. To quote B'way's King Herod: "Don't be cross with me, but you're gonna have to do better than that, boy."

(hand-staple-forehead) I'm as guilty as the next person of Flagrant Quoting, but doesn't this strike you as really sad?

Finally, we have these Words of Theatrical Wisdom from Bob:

When you stage a show (BRO) that features obviously untrained actors, the high points get squished to low, and low points smacked to unbearable. Jesus and Judas are incredibly diffucult (sic) parts, and are, unfortunately for this show, well out of the range of the typical "rock musician". Screeching, no-range vocals, artless acting (by non-actors), and boring visuals (I didn't know Jesus shopped at Abercrombie) just don't add up to an aesthetically pleasing production. Unless it is at a high-school, however.

What a witty bastard, eh wot? Classic. Those who can't do, become critics. Those who can't find jobs as critics, clog up message boards with their self-congratulatory smarminess. It must've been "diffucult" to write that, Bob. I hope you allowed yourself a full thirty minutes of nap time between sentences.

I'm sure the lot of you are sitting here reading this with visions of sour grapes dancing in your heads. Let it be said that I bear no ill will against Broadway. I've seen some truly amazing stuff in New York, but I've been equally blown away by some community theatre productions as well. On the flip side, the only time I ever walked out in the middle of a production was on Broadway. I think a lot of what's going on there right now is dumbed-down; producers don't give audiences nearly enough credit. I didn't see JCS in its last Broadway incarnation, but I'm sure it was terrific. As I've said numerous times before, I'm a sucker for that score.

What gets my panties in a wad are these elitist wankers who truly believe in a theatrical hierarchy, where you just cain't git no more validation as a performer than troddin' the boards at the Ford Center. Theatre is not the sole property of the Really Useful Company. It belongs to everyone.

lisamcc at 22:27:15

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2000-12-12

Broadway!!!

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