2000-09-08

And the whiner is....

Gentles.

Of course I watched the MTV Video Awards last night. Of course you're all expecting a full recap. No? Well, tough darts � you're getting one, anyway, because I went to the trouble of actually taking notes:

The Wayans Brothers - painfully unfunny. Entire broadcast had the fluidity of two-day-old cold Chinese food.

Britney Spears: let it not be said of Ms. Spears that she is not fully aware of her responsibility, as it were, to her fans -- most of whom are male and either 13 or 49. Anyway, ye Gods. Not a whole lot of innuendo in the Spears camp these days. Here's the thing about Britney -- she is what she is: pure, unadulterated Sex on Parade. Sure, she obviously lip-synchs. Need we expect more of her? She's already working her little heart out for us in her barely-there ensembles, twisting and writhing and doing the fine state of Louisiana proud. Let us not cloud matters by speculating on the poor girl's actual talent. As we watched this utterly grotesque-yet-compelling exhibition, Kev commented: "I can't decide whether I'm turned on or irritated." I think that says it all.

Has everybody finished kissing Eminem's ass? Can we move on now?

Rage Against the Machine: I'm sure that what they're saying is very, very important, or else the Democrats wouldn't have made them their Poster Band. A little more vocals in the mix, and maybe I could've picked out just what they're trying to say. As it stands, I have a hard time taking them seriously. Here we have a band that presumes to speak for the little people, yet the bass player smashes his gear on stage, leaving a whole lot of broken glass and shit for the stage crew to deal with, while he goes off and plans his climb up the set pieces all in the name of Rebellion. Um...yeah! Down with The Man! Power to the People! Rage, rage against that machine! Or, as my friend Jef likes to say, "Compromise With the Machine." Feh.

Is it just me, or does Sting become more and more alarmingly anachronistic with each passing awards show? He's like Uncle Fester up there. Remember when Sting was cool, kind of? Now he's the old relative that everyone feels obligated to invite to all the family gatherings. Steven Tyler had more on the ball up there last night than Sting did.

Fred Durst and Christina Aguilera: wow. That was just....stupid. And someone needs to tell that girl to eat a sandwich. She's about as appealing as a pile of wire coat hangers.

I like that Macy Gray.

*Nsync. My boys. Joey Fatone was wearing a KISS t-shirt: tasty. The bit with the television sets was creepy, though -- kind of Orwellian. And I'm pretty sure one of them hit a clunker and was immediately taken out of the mix. My guess is Lance.

lisamcc at 17:31:48

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