2011-02-16

Authenticity.

Everybody's favorite party boy, Charlie Sheen, recently admitted that he might have a tiny substance abuse problem, and went on to say that this recent sober jaunt won't last long, so if you want to work with him, better get him under those kliegs soon.

Sobriety, Sheen claims, is not a natural state for him. It's boring. "It's inauthentic," he boasts, "it's not who I am."

Anyone who's been in the throes of active addiction, or has been involved on a day-to-day level with an active addict, recognizes that line. That whole "I am so sensitive and connected to my feelings that I need to enhance them chemically" business. The belief that you are a more vital, viable version of yourself when under the influence. You're a better actor/writer/musician/dancer/whatever. Such bullshit. I know, because I told myself those very things for years in order to stay nice and sick.

Here's the thing, Charlie - how do you even KNOW who your "authentic" self is, when you don't even give it half a chance to reveal itself? My guess is that you're terrified of that person. You're terrified of being "boring." You're terrified of entering a life of credit card payments, disappointments, and household chores without the promise of obliteration by way of "rewarding" yourself for getting through the terrible, mundane things that normal people get through every day.

Whew! I can't believe I actually went to work today. Think I'll reach under the kitchen sink and pour me a nice refreshing glass of drain opener. Because I had a tough day. I deserve that glass of drain opener.

Does this sound - well - really fucking stupid? Replace "drain cleaner" with "bourbon." Or "Chianti." If you're an alcoholic, it's the same thing: poison. And it takes a good chunk of time to see the stupidity in it. But eventually - provided you go that whole time without taking the poison - you do see it. You see other things too. You see that it's kind of NOT NORMAL to look through other people's medicine cabinets to see what they have, and to gauge what they might or might not miss. You see that - oh! - prescription medication is for conditions that need medicating, NOT to take before you go out dancing. You see that you can go do laundry without "fortifications."

And you see that, yes, life perhaps is a little "boring" without all that garbage that was making you so goddamn authentic and all. Me, I'll take boring over waking up at 3 in the morning wanting to die, or having to be told by my husband that I vomited all over my parents' driveway the night before, because I couldn't possibly "celebrate" my cousin's wedding without drinking my weight in gin. Because while that was certainly interesting, it's not anything you want to keep doing, unless of course you've managed to convince yourself that this is who you REALLY are. That whole "authenticity" thing again.

I suspect Charlie Sheen's children would prefer boring over authentic, but that's a completely different story.

Meanwhile, there are people out there on teh interwebs who are praising Sheen for "at least being honest," which is also laughable, given that addiction absolutely THRIVES on blatant dishonesty. But by all means keep flapping your gums about what a selfish dink you are, Charlie, because it's so "refreshing" to hear a celebrity tell it like it is.

lisamcc at 11:05 a.m.



4 comments so far
vikkitikkitavi
2011-02-16 19:00:13
Charlie's "get me while you can" statement is about the most blatant declaration of addiction-related delusion I've ever heard, and I suspect that what he's running from is the intolerable suspicion that he might just be Emilio Estevez. Several months a ago a friend of mine lost her husband to substance abuse. He was once tempted out of a rehab facility by none other than Keifer Sutherland, which goes to illustrate further the threat to the alcoholics of LA posed by the marginally-talented actor children of venerated actors.
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LisaMcC
2011-02-16 19:16:45
Hey - say what you want about Emilio. He's probably living pretty comfortably off the "Mighty Ducks" franchise even to this day, and you certainly don't read about him flipping out in front of porn stars.

But maybe it's because he can handle his crack "socially."
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Nettie
2011-02-17 02:13:23
McC? I friggin' adore you. Thanks for some reality.
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Barbara
2011-03-16 22:49:06
It's always fascinated me. From the perspective of a non-addict, addiction makes for boring times!
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