2010-11-15

Dear Twitter

I'm sorry. I tried.

We both knew, going into this, that I had reservations. So this really shouldn't be a surprise.

Our relationship was a tenuous one at best. As much as I initially enjoyed the challenge of keeping my thoughts to 140 characters or less, I found that most people do not use Twitter in this way. People want to have "conversations." I don't like to converse in such a way that I am forced to compress things, eschew punctuation, or worse still - resort to emoticons and acronyms just to be able to "talk" to somebody.

I am not a Luddite curmudgeon, Twitter, if that's what you're thinking. I appreciate what you're trying to do here. There were some things I liked about our relationship. I liked playing the little word games that would pop up - making up Palin baby names and the like. I even grew to grudgingly enjoy hashtags.

But here's the point, Twitter, and it's what I told MySpace a few years back: when it ceases to be enjoyable, and makes me feel more and more like I'm back in seventh grade, it's time to leave. When I start to worry about why people aren't "following me back," or worse still, UNfollowing me, that's not a good thing. Most days, Twitter, I feel like I'm standing in the middle of a busy cafeteria yelling: "Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!" And on the days I don't feel that way, I'm eating lunch in the art room and hoping some kindred soul will find me. But the kindred souls are all off playing #ihateitwhen.

I have to fake it, Twitter, and you can't tell the difference. That's not healthy for either of us.

Honestly, you won't miss me. There might be a few weeks of crossing the street to avoid eye contact, but that's about it.

lisamcc at 12:30 p.m.

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