2009-12-28

A Love Letter.

Dear Snuggie:

You know those old movies where the female lead (like, say, Myrna Loy) turns up her nose as regards the male lead and says, "I simply could never love such a man; I cannot stand the sight of him!" but then fate thrusts them together and after some comical twists and turns she realizes he's the man of her dreams?

When I first saw you on television I snorted derisively. A "blanket with sleeves," indeed. How stupid. The red one makes its wearer look like an alien overlord. Who would buy such a thing?

And then I got one for Christmas. Because my family members know me. They know what's truly in my best interests, no matter how "stupid" it seems at the time. Sort of like when my parents called me the day after I vomited all over their driveway after a family wedding and suggested that I perhaps shouldn't drink anymore.

It turns out they were once again correct, Snuggie. My nieces (I like to think that the nearly-two-year-old had a hand in selecting the leopard print) gave you to me and I was quite horrified to discover that I was GENUINELY PLEASED.

I'm sorry - deeply sorry - that I ever doubted you. Because when I opened your box on Christmas night, I knew that I had found THE ONE. Because I knew in an instant that unlike certain ex-boyfriends of mine, you would never stand me up on New Year's Eve and claim the next day that you'd fallen asleep on the couch. You would never break up with me over the phone. You would never dump me and move to Los Angeles to be a singer/songwriter. You would just allow me to wrap myself in your luridly leopard-print-fuzzy-wuzziness and let the world and its problems fall sweetly away as I dozed off in front of the Letterman show.

A "blanket with sleeves" has warmed my bitter, cold heart.

There are those that scoff at us, Snuggie. They're the ones that sneer: "Why dontcha just wear your bathrobe BACKWARDS?" They don't understand. In their ignorance, they claw and swipe at us. They are like the people who claim to hate Styx. I do not entertain their blithe, hateful frippery.

I love you.

Always.

-Lisa

PS - I like the booklight, too.

lisamcc at 9:51 a.m.



2 comments so far
kellie
2009-12-28 16:18:52
My kitties gave me a leopard snuggie. I laughed when I opened it. I put in on to play along.....I LOVE IT. I will never not have a Snuggie. AND - I noticed in the Sky Mall mag on my flight home, others are jumping on the bandwagon and making bigger, badder versions! Enjoy!
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Lynette
2009-12-28 22:00:25
I want one. But alas, I am left to buy my own presents. Which means I either spend very little or only get things I really really need. They make themed ones now. I really want the UT one (burnt orange) except it has football helmets all over it and I abhor football. Soon, my Snuggie. Soon.
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